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After Earth has a clear plot. It has a protagonist with a clear goal. It has an emotional arc. I'm not saying that all of these things are perfectly executed, or that all of these things make it good. But I am saying these things make it an actual movie—even, in fact, the "conventional" one Morgenstern is looking for. Actually, I think Morgenstern should begin every review from now on with "Is [title] the worst movie ever made?" You know, just to pose the question and submit it for discussion.