Monday, June 10, 2013

Game of Thrones: The Mother of Dragons and a Dick In a Box.

Posted By on Mon, Jun 10, 2013 at 10:00 AM

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And over at Castle Black, which is where Jon is surely heading, Sam and Gilly have arrived and are trying to explain to Maester Aemon what exactly has been going on north of the Wall. Maester Aemon decides the best thing to do is send ravens to all the lords and kings who are fighting in the South so that they know that the real war is about to start up North. We also find out that Gilly has named her son Sam. Awww! Nice. Not long after this, Jon Snow makes it back to Castle Black. He is not dead, but he doesn't look too good. He is happy to see Sam though, as well he should be. Sam is awesome. See you all next season, crows!

Also not dead, though totally injured, is Jaime. He's finally made it back to King's Landing, along with Brienne. My only regret this season is that we didn't get to see more of their road trip time on screen. Those two are the best. Jaime, who has probably never felt out of place anywhere in his life, suddenly doesn't seem like he belongs. he even gets brushed aside by a Flea Bottom merchant, who pushes him and says, "Step aside, country boy." Nobody knows it's Jaime.

But there is one person who should know it's Jaime. One person who should be thrilled to see him. Jaime enters his sister's chambers and pauses at the door. He says her name quietly, "Cersei."

She turns around expectantly but is rendered speechless by the sight of him. He stands there, dirty and with one hand, but he is still Jaime. Cersei doesn't seem to think so. She looks quite horrified. See you next season, you two crazy kids!

Meanwhile, Davos is getting much better at reading. And what he's reading is the mail. He sees the message from Maester Aemon saying that the White Walkers are on the move. Beyond this, Davos knows that Melisandre and Stannis intend to kill Gendry in an effort to push Stannis closer to the Iron Throne. So, Davos helps Gendry escape. Davos puts Gendry—who can't even swim—in a boat and tells him to go to ing's Landing. "Why are you doing this?" asks Gendry. "Because it's right," says Davos. "And because I'm a slow learner." And because he's awesome.

Predictably, Stannis doesn't agree and decides that Davos should be put to death. Unfortunately for Stannis, but fortunately for the rest of us who love Davos, Melisandre realizes that Davos will be needed because, she says, "The true war lies to the North, my King. Death marches to the Wall. Only you can stop it."

Melisandre continues, "Davos is right. You need him. He has a part to play in the war to come." She...does not look happy that she can't kill Davos. And Stannis laughs saying, "You see, Ser Davos. You've been saved by that fire god you like to mock. You're in his army now." See you next season, weirdos!

And speaking of armies, Daenerys stands with hers outside of the gates of Yunkai. She is waiting to see if all the slaves that Daario helped free will join her. Will she be greeted as a liberator? She will! People start flooding through the gate and chanting "Mhysa! Mhysa!" at her. "Mhysa" means "Mother" in old Ghiscarian, so this is a good thing, unless, of course, you hate your mother. But it doesn't look like they do, because when Dany walks through the crowds they pick her up as if Yunkai is the scene of one of my high school dances in 1997. Dany crowdsurfs while Enya (?) or something similarly spa-like and faux-inspiring plays in the background. I don't know. This was...not my favorite scene, although I get how it was supposed to be visually spectacular. Eh. See you next season, mother of dragons!

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