Monday, July 15, 2013

Sex, Love, and Brooklyn: In Which Pregnancy Scares Are All Part of Growing Up

Posted By on Mon, Jul 15, 2013 at 10:00 AM

Priests dont look like this in real life.
  • Priests don't look like this in real life.

Recently, a good friend of mine called me in hysterics, crying out, “I didn't get my period this month.”

“Is that unusual?” I asked in my best nurse-practitioner voice.

“Yes. I'm on the pill.”

“Oh, fuck, then. Shit. Sorry!”

“Yeah,” she said in a small voice.

“Did you have sex this month?” I asked hoping for good math.

“Lacy, I live with my boyfriend, having sex is like brushing our teeth at this point.”

Long pause.

“Well, you gotta take a test then.”

She started to cry.

“Babe, it's going to be okay. Is Tim there? Does he know?”

“No, he's away on tour. I don't want to say anything to him until I'm absolutely sure.”

“I totally understand. If you want me to buy one for you and come over I will.”

“Lace, the thing is, I've never even taken a pregnancy test before.”

“Wait a minute, you've never peed on a stick before? You're 27-years-old! How did it take this long?”

“I don't know. I just haven't.”

“Well, welcome to being a woman.”

* * *

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