It is too hot right now, you guys. I hate to be boring by stating the totally obvious, but it is toooooooo hot. I saw ladies in my neighborhood walking around with shade-casting umbrellas like we were living in Gone With the Wind. Whenever a glance out the window conjures Southern plantations and the burning of Atlanta, it's too hot. For those of us foolishly (or, ethically) sweating it out working from home with no A/C, this is a problem. Way beyond putting articles of clothing in the freezer for a few minutes, which is a totally valid move by the way, I'm moving on to tactics meant to fill all of my senses with the coldest of vibes. I'm about to put Fargo on my TV on mute just to luxuriate in all that frozen, only partially red-flecked white. Some ice-water for our ears might also be soothing? We'll need songs that move past just dark, and into truly glacial. (Even Ian Curtis sounds too sweaty for comfort.)
Below you'll find a list of songs that sound super cold. While that tends to coincide with light-to-moderate depression, today this stuff is making me kind of giddy. All songs are embedded below, but you can also stream it as a Spotify playlist. Stay cool out there, friends.
OK, so I'm not proposing you just listen to Christmas music in July like an insane person, but this one is so associated with sweater weather that it's legitimately tricking my brain into dropping my body temperature by at least 3 to 4 degrees. Crucial.
Hunger seems like a fine trade off for a share of this lil' fox's snow piles.
The date on this Kanye-sampled Aphex Twin song puts it in spring, but it sounds beautifully chilly to me. Guitars run too hot, piano icicles are where it's at.
A few guitar exceptions, though. Do you think Leonard Cohen ever wore shorts in his life?
A kind of wind-whipping suburban desolation here. The people back at the party started a bonfire, but you can't even look at them right now. At least the cold wind really gets you.
This guy might get you too, but he's off alone in his own field, shivering (and, weirdly, also sweating).
Bjork actually uses a sample of snow shoes crunching along in this one and it sounds, like, crazy refreshing. I want to do that with my face.
Nuclear winter is also a valid. Let's get our filthy coats out and push a shopping cart towards the fabled coast. Doesn't that sound nice?
Wherever she is right now, Karin Dreijer is freezing.
A lot of so-called "cold wave" gets discounted for making you think of nothing so much as a sweltering underground dance club. That is not going to cut it. Gotta get the impression that dancing with the singer would be like grinding on a February tombstone.
Or imagine a friendly hug from this dapper cadaver.
A distinctly urban kind of cold—you can practically feel the wind curling around the corners of Berlin cement.
As close as I could come to the sound of seeing your own breath.
And taking it all the way to the sound of actually dying alone in the cold. Which, you know, as a harmless summer daydream can actually sound a little refreshing.