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and Percy Jackson: Sea of Monsters
: If you hate your kids or want to feel like maybe you should, the August clearinghouse sale begins at the multiplexes this week, except there's no discount on seeing Percy Jackson 2: Their First Assignment
(despite it being the off-brand Harry Potter) or Cars 3: Sky-Cars
(despite its not—and I cannot stress this enough—being an actual Pixar production!). Both of these movies seem to have been released theatrically due to a toxic combination of (a) assuming that there wouldn't be any kid-friendly movies out in August without actually looking at the release schedule and noticing that there are three animated movies plus countless secretly kid-targeted action movies in wide release and (b) assuming that non-US audiences will flock to this junk even if their North American counterparts are just seeing Despicable Me 2
over and over again, producing perhaps the most ridiculous $350 million grosser since, well, Shrek 2
, I guess.