Capital New York reported today that New York Post writer V.A. Musetto was dropped from the paper, where he has worked in some capacity for 40 years. Musetto is best known for coining what might be the greatest Post headline of all time: "Headless Body in Topless Bar." Capital New York notes that "Musetto, who once presided over the newsroom but was most recently a film critic, retired from the Post two years ago following a long career there." However, the Post has declined to continue its relationship with him, even in freelance form. So, in honor of Musetto, here's a list of some of the greatest Post headlines of all time.
Rich Bitch; August 29, 2007
Following billionaire, "Queen of Mean" Leona Helmsley's death, her dog inherited $12 million to her Maltese, Trouble.
Axis of Weasel; January 24, 2003
Remember when we were all supposed to hate the French and call fries "freedom fries" and pour wine into the gutter and, you know, act like immature idiots because the French didn't want to participate in the Iraq War? Yeah, those were the days. They were also the days when people said things like "Axis of Evil." Sometimes, it turns out, things do get better.
H-Olé; May 22, 2010
This doesn't really work as a pun exactly, but is pretty notable for blithely mocking the fact that a man was gored through the face by the horn of a bull. He did survive, at least, so that maybe makes the cover a little less morally compromised. Maybe.
Weiner's Rise and Fall; June 17, 2011
I have to include a Weiner headline, obviously. And this is one of the funniest. Of course, since this came out in 2011, it doesn't make mention of the fact that Weiner rose again. Only to fall again. And so the vicious Weiner cycle continues.
Ho No!; March 11, 2008
Well, and if we're gonna go Weiner, we've got to throw in a Spitzer hedder. This one was an instant classic when it was released in 2008. More recently was "Here We Ho Again!" a headline of which I also fully approve.
Cloak and Shag Her; November 10, 2012
Ok, ok. Just one more infidelity based headline. (I'm not even touching the Tiger Woods headlines, but there are some good ones there too.) The revelation of the affair that America's top spy/CIA director David Petraeus was having with biographer Paula Broadwell led to this beauty. This scandal also led to the Post headline "In the Call of Booty." Word play! It's so fun!
Great Balls of Fire; December 29,2009
Remember the underwear bomber? Well, even if you've forgotten him, you should never, ever forget this great headline.
Kiss Your Asteroid Goodbye; March 13, 1998
It isn't much of a story when absolutely nothing happens, but I guess people like to think about dying in big bang kind of a way, so that's why we got this asteroid headline. Also cool? That the front page slams Leonardo DiCaprio's movie The Man In the Iron Mask. Guess his career probably went nowhere, right?
Bad Lay; May 26, 2006
Simple, to the point, a little bit dirty...this headline is the Post's platonic ideal. And so while we might not be fans of Rupert Murdoch or the Post's conservative editorials, and boy did we dislike Andrea Peyser's writing while she was around, we still enjoy the headlines. Besides, reading hedders is free, so we can enjoy these and still be secure in the knowledge that we're not contributing to the Murdoch family's wealth. Win/win.
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