The Internet socialites were seemingly hit with a fatal blow yesterday: the revealing of the humans behind Horse_Ebooks and Pronunciation Book. I want to first say that I don't feel cheated that Horse_Ebooks and Pronunciation Book (though I prefer the parody-of-a-parody: Pronunciation Manual) were real people making conceptual art out of the Internet. Twitter isn't only one of the best platforms for jokes—it can also be seen as a set of formal restrictions an artist works to master. But, I'm sure some of you who do feel cheated may need some compensatory rebound accounts to fill the void and lick the wounds. So, we submit these five Twitter accounts for your consideration.
Horse detective eats a dandelion when no one is looking.
— horse detective (@horsedetective) August 10, 2013
Horse Detective is an obvious, immediate replacement for Horse_Ebooks. This feed, written by @farfromsea, chronicles the thoughts and feelings of a horse detective. We like this one especially since it flirts with highlighting the narrative possibilities of Twitter. While Horse Detective isn't quite as scripted as author Jennifer Egan's experiment with her short story "Black Box," we're still very interested to see what Horse Detective discovers about his suspects and himself.
Kung Fu Chomsky
— Zizek Ebooks (@zizek_ebooks) September 23, 2013
I'd venture to argue that Žižek Ebooks is a prime contender to take Horse Ebooks' place. Anyone even nascently familiar with the Slovenian philosopher will immediately see the joke—of course a philosopher who can effectively illustrate a Hegelian dialectic through a fart joke would have a Twitter! Žižek, who is known for his anti-Academic Philosopher personality as much as his philosophy, is one of the funniest smart dudes around. I have a feeling most of these are lines from the many, many talks available on YouTube.
Normal Tweet Guy
Can't believe its Monday again!
— Normal Guy (@NormalTweetGuy) September 23, 2013
I'm not sure if this is a joke, or genuine, or a little bit of both. NormalTweetGuy has found Twitter comedy gold. He might even be somewhat of an accidental genius. This Twitter account really highlights how much effort some of us put into our Twitters, and into the Twitter tone. NTG's tweets are almost so naive they make us feel a little silly for thinking too much about the 140 characters. Other favorites include: "My coworker sneezed so loud I jumped! Haha!" and "It was crazy when Miley Cyrus twerked!"
Long nails, or short and nude? Only at the hour of death do most people choose the right thing.
— KimKierkegaardashian (@KimKierkegaard) September 23, 2013
One of the first and best Twitter parody accounts—and one of the longest running—Kim Kierkegaardashian combines the "thoughts" of Kim Kardashian with the philosophy of Søren Kierkegaard. The Danish philosopher is popularly known as a proto-existentialist thinker who rejected the major German Idealists, like Hegel. "Subjectivity is truth," Kierkegaard says, though I'm not sure Kim would agree. We're just waiting for the Emma Wittgenstein Twitter feed now.
"ska enthusiast" #ForbiddenPhrases
— Fake AP Stylebook (@FakeAPStylebook) March 25, 2013
We shouldn't forget that most of the Internet is still based in reading—even our gchats! That's what makes FakeAPStyleBook so good—it's always there to help us with those iffy issues of style and syntax, especially in our time when the Internet itself is helping re-shape our language. So, learn how to "write more good" with FakeAPStyleBook. Maybe prepare to be a tiny offended.
Follow Ryan Chang on twitter @avantbored.