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“Why? What are you gonna do?”
“Give it to me.”
I hand it over. I live on the edge.
“What's his name?”
“Do not fucking text him!”
“I won't, but what's his name?”
“I can't believe I'm doing this. It's Daniel.”
“I just erased his contact. Now, you can relax.”
He handed me back my phone, and strangely enough a sense of relief washed over me. There was nothing left to do about Daniel, and now there was no way I could contact him.
We go to the bar to meet JC's friend. He was lovely. It's pretty amazing to think that an hour before I was walking home alone, hating myself, and now I was magically sitting between two gentlemen who were shamelessly flirting and buying me drinks. I think of the copy of Calling in the One, I have in my bag. Do I actually have to read it, or is owning it enough?
JC said to his friend, “When we were in undergrad, all our professors were intimidated by Lacy.”
That did it. I would owe him a 100 bucks, because I was definitely sleeping with him.
I know its a vicious cycle to base my whole sense of self worth on what the random dude of the moment thinks of me, but I also feel like, “I just got dumped. And here's this handsome angel, who happens to also be buying what I've been trying to sell. I'm going to go with this one.”
We said goodbye to his friend and walked to his apartment.
“So you know you owe me a 100 dollars right?”
“I'm a little short on cash right now. Is there any other way I can pay you?”
“I can think of something.”
The he started to undress me. Before I knew it, we were both naked and he was biting me on the ass. Seriously hard. I had a teeth mark bruise on my cheek the next day.
In between spanks, he said, “I've been waiting to do this to you since you were 19.”
We had fun sex, and we both laughed a lot. I'm not usually a ticklish person, but he had me pinned down and hysterical. It was refreshing to remember how sex doesn't have to be so serious, that it's actually pretty funny.
Later on, I was in the crook of his arm, and he was playing with my hair. It should have been a moment of relaxation and letting go, but I turned into my worst self, and started thinking about Daniel. JC picked right up on it.
“So you really liked this guy, huh?”
“Yeah. I don't know what happened.” I felt like I could start to cry, and I would have really, really hated that.
He held me closer and ran his hand over my chest. “Shhh. Don't let him have all the power now. Don't let him ruin our good fuck.”
Then we had sex again, and that time it was quiet. I fell asleep with my contacts still in.
The next morning I put on all my clothes while he was still sleeping. I love watching men while they're still asleep. They seem so harmless. Before I left, I bent down to his bed and kissed him.
“You going somewhere?”
“Yeah, I gotta go home, my eyes are killing me.”
“Ok, then. Same time, same place, five years from now?”
“It's a date.”
Follow Lacy Warner on twitter @laceoface