• Rollin Leonard, "Franky 5 Circles." GIF courtesy of blog.rollinleonard.com

We learned through the grapevine this week that there's a new net art gallery coming to Bushwick. Transfer is scheduled to open March 16th, and we’re excited.

• Collision, by Marko Velk. Image courtesy Slag Contemporary.

Marko Velk's masterly charcoal marks and Matt Blackwell's masticable textures in backwards march head up the roster in this round of art picks from our 2/3 issue.

This week we’ve learned that horse meat has snuck its way into Irish grocery-store burgers and IKEA meatballs. Now most of Europe suffers from a collective hangover, plagued by the thought of accidentally ingesting such a regal creature possibly full of hormones. They didn’t know! Well, most people can’t tell the difference between a beef burger and a horse burger just by looking at it.

And just like we don’t know what’s gone into those burgers and meatballs, there’s countless works of art that don’t specify the meat they use. Holy hell: We don’t know if Carolee Schneemann used beef or ham in Meat Joy!

In response to this, we’ve come up with “The Horse Meat or Meat in Art Quiz” to help suss out what we do know. The answers are in upside-down text, revealed after the multiple choice questions.

Park Avenue is about to receive the gift of eyesores. Spindly, shiny eyesores that reach 20 feet into the sky. Beginning today, Cuban artist Alexandre Arrechea will install mini-versions of New York landmarks including the Chrysler, Empire State, and Flatiron buildings along the six-lane roadway between 54th and 67th. They’re bound to be a distraction, so wayward drivers and pedestrians, you have been warned.

• Critical Art Ensemble performing "Radiation Burn," a simulation of a dirty bomb, in 2010. Image courtesy of wikipedia

Between tonight’s sex talk at The Kitchen and this weekend’s hack-a-thon in Bushwick, we’re marking our calendars for every single art event this week. We know. We’re surprised, too.

• Cover by the Vancouver-based collaborative White-Swallows, Image courtesy of Happiness

If you’re googling for emerging underground comics these days, the Happiness tumblr is a good place to start. I’m biased because I know founder Leah Wishnia from art school, but based on a recent phone call for this piece, Brooklyn’s main art comic dealer Desert Island thinks so, too. In the few years that she’s been self-publishing her biannual anthology, she’s been hitting the road, collaborating, kicking ass, and taking names; trolling Happiness will lead you through a wormhole of BK comic makers (my former self included), local collectives (Dimensions, Jeans, Chromazoid), and international artists.

• Robert Otto Epstein, "Air," 2012. 31 x 21 in. (Photo courtesy of robertottoepstein.com)

President’s Day gets even better with a look at what the week has in store: a screening of emerging film, a panel related to the New Museum’s new exhibition, and openings all over. This week also led us to googling “The Golden Age of Porn.” Details below.

• From K-HOLE's latest issue.

New York-based art and design collective K-HOLE (Greg Fong, Sean Monahan, Emily Segal, Chris Sherron, and Dena Yago) is the Deep Throat of the corporate marketing worlds. Since 2011, they’ve been publishing K-HOLE, their self-titled mag as a free PDF and on fancy schmancy USBs. In its pages, the group exposes what marketing departments don’t want customers to know, things like “The job of the advanced consumer is managing anxiety, period.” All that could come across as overly preachy, (i.e. corporate marketing is bad), but K-HOLE’s glossy, playful design gets rid of that vibe.

• A glimpse of Drafted sans throngs. Photo courtesy Schema Projects.

A Beat Nite, a dunking booth and an indirectly sated sweet tooth in this set of art picks from our 2/13 issue.

Ai Weiwei made a boring Valentine's Day promo for Elton John's AIDS Foundation, but bloodsucking trend-lovers that we are, we're gonna post it. The video will be shown tonight alongside Tracy Emin’s sarcastic love neons in Times Square. My heart goes out to you if you’re stuck there tonight.

The Internet is vast but it’s getting harder and harder to find new stuff when everyone’s sharing the same videos, following the same Tumblrs, and going to the same blogs. We’re using the Internet like there’s only a few options out there; everyone's ordering cheese pizza, but there’s plenty of other toppings. It’s kind of boring.

In lieu of growing complacent with what’s on the Internet, I’ve started looking for videos on YouTube with less than 100 hits. That’s a hard thing to do. Most of the videos I’ve found are dry, amateur, and most importantly, they’re not popular. But I like them for the simple fact that they’re unlike most other things circulating the Internet. Here’s several of my current, mostly art-related finds:

• "Untitled (Conran's I)," Art Club 2000. Image for the New Museum's "1993." Photo courtesy of betweenbridges.net

This week, dive into Bushwick. Let the openings wash over you as you plunge into the bi-annual gallery crawl/neighborhood party that is Beat Nite.

Also, there will be an indie video game festival at the Museum of Moving Image and an exhibition about the year 1993 at the New Museum. This week’s for you, Brooklyn.

• Jeff Wall, "Picture for Women," 1979.

Brooklyn’s New York Transit Museum is throwing a Missed Connections-themed Valentine’s Day party. It looks to be festive, with cocktails, poetry, and art, all set in the turn-of-the-century elegance of Grand Central Terminal. The Transit Museum’s the perfect place to host a party for Missed Connections, as most of these moments past take place on the subway. Aw, all that sounds nice, but we think it's a little too nice. Sure, there might be a few couples there to regale partygoers with tales of romance on the tubes, but for the most part, we assume the event will be full of lonely types; and we hope the party won’t ignore that, the true spirit of Missed Connections.

WHOOP DEE DOO at PICA's annual Time-Based Art Festival (TBA) SEPTEMBER 2011 from Whoop Dee Doo on Vimeo.

“What do you do in Kansas City on a Friday night? You dress up goth with your friends and hit the local cowboy bar to fuck with people,” Jaimie Warren said yesterday in a closing lecture for her solo show at the Hole. But you can only fuck with the hometown so many times, and thus, they began the travelling variety show WHOOP-DEE-DOO.

• I spy two dildos in Henry Avril's lithograph.

Over the centuries, dildos have made many people happy. Dildo art hasn’t made such an impact, but it’s not for lack of trying. Today, the most common dildo art remains in the world of Etsy, like this “tentacled horror”, or in Williamsburg, where you can purchase these “glamorous towers of strength” featuring powerful women throughout history like Indira Ghandi, Marie Antoinette, and worst of all, Margaret Thatcher. These are not attractive things to plug up a hole, leading me to believe we’re in a downtime for dildos in art. Still, like all good things in the world—food, philosophy, animals, color, sex, and the like—there’s always been a place for them in art.

• Joachim Patinir, "Überfahrt in die Unterwelt," image courtesy of zeno.org

This week, we bravely venture out of the apartment to hear from people who’ve each blazed a trail or two themselves. We’ll see a talk and screening by Charles Atlas, portraits from Bushwick, and Jaimie Warren’s food photos one more time before they go down.

• This GIF is on Megapolis' homepage. We're not sure why.

Soundlovers rejoice! The nation’s best audio art festival and conference, Megapolis, will land in New York this April, and they’re looking for submissions by February 10th. Festivals of years past have included sessions that run the gamut from how to make your own Atari punk console to presentations involving an abandoned mental health ward (by Nick Van der Kolk of Love and Radio). This year, festival organizers have already lined up several sessions, performances, and workshops by Nina Katchadourian, Andrea Seabrook, Fluxtronix, Anna Friz, Eric Leonardson, Emch, and Live Footage.

• Works in the exhibition Donut Muffin. Images courtesy Dorsky Gallery.

Ersatz pastries of sorts and your plans for Super Bowl Sunday (yes, watching the Big Game at a gallery is an option) in this round of art picks from our 1/30 issue.