A vote for Reverend Billy might be a protest vote, but that's the point here, to protest. A vote for Billy is to protest Bloomberg's arrogance in seeking a third term; a vote for Billy is to protest the pusillanimous state and city Democrats more concerned with hanging onto power than advocating on behalf of their constituents; a vote for Billy is to protest a New York slowly losing the very thing that has always made it a truly great city, its neighborhoods.

Also, if you haven't yet, read Henry Stewart's great profile of the Rev, here.

Call me dangerously naive, but I think a purging of moderates (god, that phrase has such a... I don't know... Cambodian ring to it) from the Republican Party would be good for America, insofar as would isolate all the extremists in one place, THE BETTER TO SEE THEM. Is that crazy?

If you haven't seen Alex Pareene's great anti-Bloomberg un-dorsement over at Gawker, read it now.

You know those idiots who don't know anything about politics but think it sounds smart to say "I am a social liberal and an economic conservative?" Bloomberg is the candidate for them, if they love a liberal nanny state and a conservative religious fervor for the eternal goodness of private enterprise.

Unlike Pareene, though, we think you should definitely vote for Reverend Billy.

Our Republic stands upon a precipice. Within a very short time we will either restore Constitutional Order or our nation—at least as we know it—will cease to exist.

One could almost believe that the agonies the nation now suffers are the outcomes of deliberate plans crafted by those who wish to destroy our Republic and founding Principles.

The truth, however is that these problems cannot be fixed through the representative electoral process.

If revolution comes to our shores, it will be unique in history. In stead of fighting to create a new constitution, for the first time a people will fight to restore one.

"This happens sometimes in totalitarian regimes. Of some incidental interest, perhaps, is the nature of the book they banned. It consists of op-eds written for The New York Times syndicate and distributed by them. The subversive rot must run very deep.''

Zing! The most popular books from the Gitmo Library? Harry Potter.

(The Miami Herald has a swell guide to what can and can't be in the library, here.)

anus (n.)
the opening at the end of the alimentary canal through which solid waste matter leaves the body.
ORIGIN late Middle English : from Latin, originally ‘a ring.’

Governor Paterson (hey, he's still governor?) has signed a bill that brings the laws governing aggravated sexual abuse into line with those governing criminal sexual abuse. The former used the word "rectum" when discussing penetration with "foreign objects," while the latter had changed it to "anus." Both now read "anus."

"In order to prove the commission of the crime of aggravated sexual abuse, victims, including child victims, have had to give detailed testimony in court as to the depth of penetration; the rectum being more internal. This was not the intent of the law," the bill reads. "Cases have been dismissed and defendants have been found innocent because prosecutors have not been able to prove that a foreign object or finger was inserted, for other than a valid medical purpose, into the rectum because the anus is the place of insertion. By adding the word 'anus' to the statute, the statute will operate as it was intended."

This is obviously a very serious issue—and shouldn't be made the butt of any jokes.

According to vile, manipulative propagandist Republican pollster Frank Luntz, “No one knows how to win better than Roger."

So, is America ready for its own, sexless version of Silvio Berlusconi? Umm, YEAH.

Going Rogue is already an online bestseller, but there is a silver lining: Tina Fey gave us hope in a recent interview with Harper’s Bazaar that she might be back at SNL in her Emmy-winning role now that Palin is back in the spotlight. (No word yet on when we can expect Fey’s book on the shelves.)

Contrary to the Bloomberg campaign's attempts to paint Thompson as an ineffectual bureaucrat, however, we learn that Thompson, occupying an office without much power, was able to provide political cover for more ambitious chancellors to enact education reforms—he comes off as an adept political horse-trader, running enough interference, and gauging the political climate effectively enough, that people were able to make things incrementally better, if you don't mind inefficiency, cronyism, and a fair amount of dependency on special interests.

So, the good news is that Thompson was an effective administrator in the NYC Democratic machine mode. The bad news, of course, is that Thompson was an effective administrator in the NYC Democratic machine mode. (Whereas with Bloomberg, as pre-New Times holdout Wayne Barrett's current Voice cover story so comprehensively informs us, the good news is that he's a benevolent dictator, and the bad news is that he's a benevolent dictator.)

• "Come to the Darkside"

So look, if you want to, you know, say, convert to Catholicism—how close could a queer or a woman be to God, anyway?—it's a lot easier now. Like, some of your married priests can still stay married. (Without the vagaries of the old "case-by-case" basis structure.) And you can even keep singing your favorite Anglican hymns.

Our man Reverend Billy wasn't allowed to actually debate with his fellow candidates (because you need to have raised $50,000 and achieve a polling threshold... woohoo democracy!) but he showed up at the first debate on Tuesday night and asked Michael Bloomberg something we've all been wondering: "Dude, didn't we totally vote for a two-term limit? So, like, why are you here?"

Well, actually, the right is mostly just rolling its eyes. Or laughing. They got over the Nobel Peace Prize a long time ago; if Al Gore gets one, you might as well give one to The Nazi-Marxist Antichrist, right?