Thursday, April 21, 2011

Haitian Pop Star Wins Presidency

Posted By on Thu, Apr 21, 2011 at 3:31 PM

Michel Martelly, or "Sweet Micky," a Haitian pop star known for his sensational, burlesque stage shows, was declared the president of Haiti today, after winning nearly 68 percent of the popular vote. Before he became President of Haiti, Martelly had already proclaimed himself the "President of Compas," a type of Haitian dance music derived from merengue and African rhythms. Wyclef Jean had also been a contender for the presidency, but was ruled ineligible as he hadn't spent enough time consistently in the country.

A pop star president kind of makes total sense, music being the universal language of humanity and all. Or wait, was that math? Regardless, the closest President Obama probably ever got to pop-stardom was through the most benign of presidential conspiracy theories, when last year people pointed out an Obama doppelganger in the 1993 music video for "Whoomp (There It Is)." The alleged cameo is at the 1:01 minute mark.

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Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Marty Markowitz Is Now On Twitter, Which, Shockingly, Means He Wasn't On Twitter Before

Posted By on Tue, Apr 19, 2011 at 3:10 PM

[Post has been updated; see below.] Brooklyn Borough President Marty Markowitz has joined Twitter, the Post observed late last week (without specifying his handle or linking to his account. He's just @MartyMarkowitz).

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Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Controversial Leader of Brooklyn Young Republicans Won't Seek New Term

Posted By on Wed, Apr 6, 2011 at 8:56 AM

The controversial reformist leader of the Brooklyn Young Republican Club has decided not to run for a fourth term as the group's president. Jonathan Judge has held that position since 2008, and presided over the recent revocation of the group's charter by county party chair Craig Eaton, who has long seemed to resent the group for its endless criticisms of his leadership. Does Judge's retirement have anything to do with the fact that his Young Republican Club is now, technically, unofficial?

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Friday, April 1, 2011

Republican State Senators: "Tax the Poor, I Need a Foot Massage!"

Posted By on Fri, Apr 1, 2011 at 4:11 PM

Bay Ridge Interpol has returned from a long, unexplained hiatus with a doozy of a photograph: "Marty Golden, Hard at Work in Albany." This is worse than that time he roasted a pig in Gerritsen Beach when he should have been working. (This is the same Marty Golden who just eviscerated the nation's longest running Memorial Day Parade because, sigh, once the masseuses are paid we just don't have the money.)


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Monday, March 28, 2011

Ted Leo Sings Woody Guthrie in Support of Wisconsin Laborers, but What the Fuck is Going on in Michigan?

Posted By on Mon, Mar 28, 2011 at 1:03 PM

The Wisconsin protests have been receiving a fair amount of press, but what about Michigan's "Emergency Manager" law? Signed into effect March 16th, so far the controversial decision has attracted little mainstream attention or upset.

As The Wall Street Journal reported:

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Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Anthony Weiner, Hashtag Master and Vinyl Snob?

Posted By on Wed, Mar 23, 2011 at 4:29 PM

At 2:30pm today, Rep. Anthony Weiner hosted a "Twitter town hall," during which he fielded questions from his cyber-constituents. One asked if he'd be releasing a "Greatest Hits DVD" of his floor-speeches. To this, Weiner responded:

Image and video hosting by TinyPic

SUCH A DREAMBOAT. #anthonyweinerfanclub

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Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Marty Golden's Office Doesn't Know His Policy Positions, Doesn't Care Either

Posted By on Tue, Mar 15, 2011 at 8:54 AM

I signed what?
  • "I signed what?"
Last year, every Republican in the New York state senate signed a pledge agreeing to support bipartisan efforts at redistricting, first introduced by former mayor Ed Koch and taken up again by Governor Cuomo; currently, districts are carved up in bizarre ways to ensure that incumbents maintain their power. (It's called gerrymandering.) But, lately, Republicans have been backing away from this pledge.

An anonymous reader called up the office of Brooklyn's only Republican state senator, Marty Golden, to find out if he still supported the measure. And not only did no one there know—they could give a shit!

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Wednesday, March 9, 2011

BREAKING: State Senator Carl Kruger is Going to Jail Tomorrow

Posted By on Wed, Mar 9, 2011 at 7:30 PM

State Senator Carl Kruger, long the object of a federal investigation, plans to turn himself over to federal authorities tomorrow morning, the New York Times reports. Kruger's illustrious recent history includes shutting down a public info session about Coney Island redevelopment by busing in hundreds of outside agitators; getting shouted down by Coneyphiles during a speech a month later; and trying to pass a bill that would make it illegal to listen to an iPod while walking down the street. Oh, and also accepting campaign contributions—he had the most cash on hand out of any member of the state legislature, even though he faced no serious challengers—in exchange for easing bureaucratic hurdles for donors.


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Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Did Lincoln Restler Steal Steve Levin's Honda Civic?

Posted By on Tue, Mar 1, 2011 at 4:00 PM

And as I live and breath, no one is ever gonna steal this kids Honda Civic. Levin and Lopez in happier times.
  • "And as I live and breath, no one is ever gonna steal this kid's Honda Civic." Levin and Lopez in happier times.
The Post reports that, early this Sunday morning, City Councilman Steve Levin, who reps Greenpoint and the Brooklyn waterfront above Red Hook, woke up at dawn to drive to his office, following an attempted break-in—only to find that someone had stolen his 2000 Honda Civic off the street where it was parked.

Police suggest that the Atlantic Avenue break-in and Greenpoint car theft, though all but simultaneous, were a coincidence; however, the timing is suspicious, especially when you consider that Levin is the former chief of staff to Assembleyman and comically villainous Broooklyn Democratic boss Vito Lopez, whose armor has been sporting some serious chinks of late.

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Monday, February 28, 2011

Women Rally, Tell GOP: "Respect the Cunt!"

Posted By on Mon, Feb 28, 2011 at 2:53 PM


“My womb is my womb,” said Councilmember Deborah Rose. “No one tells me what to do with my womb.” That was the sentiment throughout the Rally for Women’s Health on Saturday in Foley Square, as thousands gathered around the fittingly named Triumph of Human Spirit sculpture to fight against proposed legislation that would defund Planned Parenthood, make abortions inaccessible, and cut Title X (The Family Planning Program).

Many women depend on Planned Parenthood for their health care—for cancer screenings, family planning, even free condoms. The organization offers safe and cheap care to help those who can’t afford more.

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Why is a Brooklyn Congressman Running for District Leader?

Posted By on Mon, Feb 28, 2011 at 12:24 PM

Cant a powerful man just want to have a low-level, unpaid position?
  • Can't a powerful man just want to have a low-level, unpaid position?
Last week, the 14-term congressman from Fort Greene, Ed Towns, began preparing to run for the lowest elected position he could hold: district leader. His son had held the position, but was recently tapped to enter the Cuomo administration. Ed has said he wants to continue his son's legacy, but the Brooklyn Paper reported that the 76-year-old probably has more up his sleeve than a yen to "line up poll workers and get petition signatures for other candidates." Could it be to undermine the strength of Brooklyn's Democratic boss, Vito Lopez?

We asked the only district leader we know—Lincoln Restler, whose victory last year was seen as a blow to the Lopez machine.

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Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Poetry, Passato and Wolf Teats at Italy's 150th Compleanno in NYC

Posted By on Wed, Feb 23, 2011 at 11:24 AM

A suite of three large, glimmering, gilded chandeliers dangled lightweightily above a handsomely quiet, reserved, attentive crowd last Tuesday in a rather majestic, high-tastefully neoclassical salone in the American Academy in Rome’s Manhattan quarters, where a seasoned audience of readers, writers, translators and scholars had gathered to pay homage to famed Italian poet and Nobel laureate Eugenio Montale through variably voiced, bilingual readings of a thusly doubled couple dozen poems, more or less, culled from several of the writer’s most renowned collections.

The calm run of the evening ebbed and flowed, one might say, like a versified sentence.

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Monday, February 21, 2011

Happy Presidents' Day! From Richard Nixon, and David Frost

Posted By on Mon, Feb 21, 2011 at 8:59 AM

Remember, kids, it's a plural noun with a possessive apostrophe. And also remember:

Oh. Oh, I see.

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Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Brooklyn Republicans Crush Dissent, Start Inter-Party Civil War

Posted By on Tue, Feb 8, 2011 at 11:42 AM

The Brooklyn Republican Party has been in crisis, with an insurgent youth faction challenging the hegemony of the old-guard leadership. Back in August, I reported that "reports surfaced a few weeks ago that [county chair Craig Eaton is] trying to shut down the Brooklyn Young Republicans club and replace it with a more simpatico counter-club." Last week, Eaton finally did just that when he announced the party has supported a "re-launched" Brooklyn Young Republicans, with party-friendly leadership, to the consternation of the extant group. "The Brooklyn Young Republican Club, founded in 1880, is quite alive and well," Jonathan Judge, the president of the original Brooklyn Young Republicans, wrote in a statement, "and is certainly without need for any party-sponsored 're-launch.'"

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Friday, February 4, 2011

Embarrassing Brooklyn Borough President Bikes Into "State of the Borough" Speech, Cheesecakes in Tow

Posted By on Fri, Feb 4, 2011 at 5:07 PM

It's getting late and I'd much rather be at an art gallery right now than getting mad about obnoxious locavore and auto industry apologist Marty Markowitz who, as the Post and many other outlets noted to varying degrees of annoyance, amusement and "meh"-ment, rode into last night's State of the Borough speech (are we really calling it that? Yeesh!) in Sunset Park on a tricycle with a stack of Junior's cheesecakes in his rear basket. Yes, Brooklyn's most powerful elected official is taking product placement deals for official functions.

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Wednesday, February 2, 2011

8 Things You Need to Know About Brooklyn's Racist and Gay-Hating Assemblyman Dov Hikind

Posted By on Wed, Feb 2, 2011 at 3:55 PM

Everyones Out to Get Me! Ill Get Them All!
  • "Everyone's Out to Get Me! I'll Get Them All!"
Borough Park Assemblyman Dov Hikind made the papers this week and last when his vocal opposition to a Brooklyn College adjunct's syllabus got the educator fired, setting off a controversy that embarrassed the college, sullied its reputation and academic standing on a national level, and ended with the teacher's reappointment.

Who is Dov Hikind?

He's a democrat who has held his seat since being elected in 1982. He supported George W. Bush for president, has associations with a known terrorist group, and has courted controversy throughout his career for outlandish statements, actions and beliefs.

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Brooklyn's Worst Congressman Now Its Worst Ex-Congressman

Posted By on Wed, Feb 2, 2011 at 10:56 AM

Its Not My Fault Im a Coward!
  • It's Not My Fault I'm a Coward!
Congressman Mike McMahon, who represented Bay Ridge and Staten Island, lost re-election in November to Republican challenger (and spectacular fool) Mike Grimm. He had been the first Democrat in decades elected in that Republican district, and it's easy to see why this switch was short-lived: McMahon alienated his base by voting against healthcare reform and a host of other important Democratic initiatives, but his opponent easily painted McMahon as a classic Obama Democrat. Without support from left or right, he easily lost.

Who does he blame for this loss? Everybody else!

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Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Digging Into the New Tumblr Marty Markowitz Eating

Posted By on Wed, Jan 26, 2011 at 11:19 AM

Marty raids the desert cart at Juniors.
  • Marty enjoys the cheesecake sampler at Junior's.

The only thing in Brooklyn more rampant than borough president Marty Markowitz's irrational hatred of bike lanes is borough president Marty Markowitz's hunger. We've caught glimpses of it at various food festivals and events, but now, thanks to the new Tumblr Marty Markowitz Eating we can gorge ourselves on photos of Markowitz enjoying the company of food. We asked the creator of the site, who goes simply by "Markowitz Fan," where s/he got the idea...

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Monday, January 10, 2011

Today in Right-Wing Water-Carrying from the New York Post: The Al Qaeda 7 Comes to Brooklyn!

Posted By on Mon, Jan 10, 2011 at 11:31 AM

Do you, in fact, remember "the Al Qaeda 7?" Hopefully you don't—it was a brief, stupid pseudo-controversy started by Liz Cheney, who last year called out seven attorneys at the Justice Department for their previous work serving as legal counsel for accused terrorists, as our (hallowed!) constitution, you know, demands. In Saturday's Post, crime reporter Mitchel Maddux was assigned the responsibility of reminding us that Eric Holder loves terrorists, rehashing the entire disingenuous witch-hunt in the guise of reporting that 35-year-old Rhodes scholar, Yale Law grad and Sandra Day O'Connor clerk Tali Farhadian, one of the "controversial" and "embattled" attorneys, who "created" division last spring by having previously worked for Human Rights Watch, was in line for a job at the US Attorney's office in Brooklyn. (The piece seems to have been updated from the print edition, which reported that she was being considered for a job which the article now confirms she got.)

The news was also confirmed, in abridged form, in the Sunday paper, lest any reader missed the opportunity to be spoon-fed irresponsible hard-right bile in the form of local news.

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Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Andrew Cuomo To Give Himself $8,950 Pay Cut, Which Should Solve Everything (A Brief Rant on Entitlement Reform)

Posted By on Tue, Jan 4, 2011 at 4:01 PM

Couldnt you find a more recent photograph? No.
  • "Couldn't you find a more recent photograph?" "No."
As one of his first acts as our new governor, Andrew Cuomo has announced he'll be cutting his own $179,000 annual salary, by 5 percent. Good for him! (His girlfriend, with whom he lives in Chappaqua, plays a chef on TV and is divorced from a billionaire, so he will probably survive.) He's doing this to "lead by example," since he's about to ask the unions representing public-sector workers for a one-year wage freeze, and likely for reductions in pension and healthcare benefits.

Meanwhile, new, mostly Republican administrations nationwide are gearing up for battles with unions, "seeking more far-reaching, structural changes that would weaken the bargaining power and political influence of unions, including private sector ones." (Scott Walker, the new governor of Wisconsin, wants to prohibit public employees from unionizing. He is not the Scott Walker who sang "30 Century Man.") Over the break, a Times dispatch from New Jersey looked at the Chris Christie-marshaled resentment against the teachers union, which basically boils down to, How dare unions ensure that public employees are well taken care of when the rest of us are getting the shaft from a fickle private sector? (We ourselves dodged a bullet, though I guess not much of one, by not electing Harry Wilson comptroller.)

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