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Foreshadower of sex—with all its pumping, sweating and messy hair—the bike date not only provides the perfect pretext to share a shower afterward, should said pretext even be needed, but also affords an opportunity to explore public transportation-averse sections of our borough. To Red Hook!
4pm: Meet up at local bike shop Dog Day Cyclery (115 Van Brunt St) for any last-minute tune-ups and accessories. Don’t underestimate the romantic eloquence of a judiciously rung bike bell.
4:30pm: Bike down to the waterfront—take Imlay and Conover streets rather than Van Brunt for more scenic, less traffic-heavy side-by-side riding. If the weather’s nice, pop into Fairway (485-500 Van Brunt St) for supplies, then ride (careful, cobblestones!) to Valentino Pier and Park (at Ferris and Van Dyke streets) for a waterfront picnic at sunset with the ultimate wingman, Lady Liberty.
6pm: For dessert—or dinner, in cooler months—head to low-key eatery The Good Fork (391 Van Brunt St). Be sure to get at least one slice of Steve’s key lime pie, from the nearby bakery and waterfront institution.8pm: Cozy up for the evening in a booth at Sunny's (253 Conover St), a museum piece of a watering hole where, if not for the excellent live music on most nights, you could still hear the mournful fog horns of tugboats passing in the night. Drink responsibly, you still need to ride home—much as you’d like to, you can’t stay here.
When you play back this date in your head, it will be a montage, scored to the Stereophonics’ “Have a Nice Day.”
2pm: The New York Aquarium (602 Surf Avenue). Laugh and nudge each other as two frisky penguins shake water all over each other. Cut to:
3pm: 3pm: Win a stuffed bear at roll-a-ball in Luna Park. Scream as the Cyclone threatens to collapse beneath you. Gaze across the twinkling city from atop the Wonder Wheel. (Actually, Coney Island’s amusements are shut down until spring. You could wait, or else stand on the deserted boardwalk, the wind biting your face, and gaze silently upon the gray and fathomless sea. But that would be a very different movie.)
5pm: Hoo boy, those hot dogs at Nathan’s (310 Surf Ave) sure do lend themselves to some sexually explicit food-flirtation, don’t they? Now cut to the next scene, eliding the interminable subway ride back.