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So what you really miss, every since your Sig. Oth. moved to Portland, is the little things—the casual one-liners and doofy expressions that spring up organically in the course of day-to-day life. For this wifi-enabled date, we replicate that as closely as possible, give or take the smells.
4pm: McCarren Park now has free public wi-fi; lay out your blanket, prop open your laptop, and sit opposite it, reading and looking up occasionally to remark upon the girl wearing leggings in this weather.
5:15pm: Happy Hour! Settle in opposite your laptop at The Mark Bar (1025 Manhattan Ave). People will just think you’re working!
8:30pm: Hoo boy, you stayed at Happy Hour longer than you intended to. Better head straight home for some Skype Sex.