8am, Monday: Defonte's
There is no better way to start a long work week than with a Valentino Special from Defonte's in Red Hook: fluffy fried eggplant, provolone cheese, roasted peppers, for $8.95. For best results, carry out and eat it at the end of Valentino Pier; and then think about your life.
9am, Wednesday: Fabiane's
If you like people-watching, you'll enjoy a morning at Fabiane's sidewalk seating on Bedford Avenue as hungover, tousle-headed hipsters slink off to work, occasionally still drunk.
10am, Sunday: Mogador
Getting to Mogador early is important, as there is no better New York experience than watching the sun crawl across St. Mark's while enjoying the best affordable Moroccan-inflected brunch in town.
11am, Saturday: Supercore
Bedford Avenue's Supercore can seem like a Japanese hipster Shopsin's, but look beyond the confusing, often changing menu, and you have an idyllic, maple-shaded back garden in which to enjoy the perfect latte.
Noon, Sunday: Life Cafe
There are better brunches (see Mogador, above), in fancier digs, but there's nothing quite so delightful as taking in an early summer afternoon across form Tompkins Square Park while munching on a giant plate of nachos. Maybe you'll be a character in a musical one day!
1pm, Saturday: Grimaldi's in the Park
Grimaldi's (for our money, the best pizza in town) is about a five-minute walk from the L Mag corporate headquarters in DUMBO, which is why we can suggest that instead of waiting 45 minutes in line, you should just call in a takeout order, waltz in, and bring your delicious pizza to the park.
2pm, Saturday: t.b.d.
It's hard to imagine a yard this big and this relaxed outside of Brooklyn; huge communal benches, a man on a grill cooking up sausages and a fun crowd of 20-somethings make this beer garden one of the best spots in the city to kill a lazy weekend afternoon.
3pm, Sunday: Mission Dolores
The lovely fellas behind Bar Great Harry have opened a giant, relaxed beer bar in Gowanus perfect for those giant, relaxing Sundays that make grown-up life worth living. (Just make sure you don't miss Monday.)
4pm, Wednesday:Shake Shack
Even when the line is obnoxiously long, it's still kind of nice to watch the squirrels and the junkies at play in Madison Square Park. And then, of course, there's the burger, your prize for waiting...
5pm, Friday: Ryan's
This very conventional pub sits on Second Avenue just south of St. Mark's Church, and though the bar itself is, well, mediocre, the sidewalk seating is possibly the best place to people-watch in all of New York. Friday at 5pm is a particularly good time to do this.
6pm, Sunday: Back Forty
With upscale comfort food this good (think pork jowl nuggets and grass-fed burgers) and a 40-seat patio this nice, you'll feel like you're at an expert chef's backyard barbecue... perfect for a lazy Sunday in the East Village.
7pm, Thursday: Habana Outpost
If you can't find a seat after picking up your order of grilled corn on the cob from the food truck at this Fort Greene fulcrum, you might just take a spin on the stationary bike that powers the smoothie blender—part of an overall eco-forward setup that also includes captured rainwater in the bathrooms and recyclable corn-based cups for your Sixpoint.
8pm, Wednesday: Trattoria Spaghetto
This Bleecker Street institution is a fabulous example of an old-school New York red-sauce joint. Order one of those classic Chianti bottles, squint your eyes into the pretty sunset, and pretend it's 1955.
9pm, Sunday: dba (East Village)
This is one of the nicest patios you'll find in Manhattan, a large and leafy respite from the city with an almost overwhelmingly long beer list heavy with Belgian imports and local craft brews.
10pm, Friday: Bia Garden
Buckets of cold Asian beer and tasty eats ranging from lemongrass sausage to spicy mussels make this bustling LES backyard the perfect place to imagine you're on vacation in Vietnam.
11pm, Saturday: Me Bar
Like some weird journey through the suburbs to reach the most uber-urban drinking spot in the city, head through Koreatown's La Quinta hotel lobby, up 14 floors, and you'll find a quaint rooftop oasis right under the Empire State Building, with a friendly, unpretentious bar and (if you're lucky) free popcorn.
Midnight, Saturday: Lucky Dog
Literally right beside the Supercore garden (remember, where you ate breakfast all those hours ago) sits the Lucky Dog garden, an oasis of cigarette-smoking, dog-play and delicious, perfectly poured beer. If you're not careful, you could end up here for days...
The Standard Hotel Biergarten
It's worth heading up to the Standard's fancy biergarten for the dirndl t-shirts alone... Though the amazing Teutonic beer selection and authentic currywurst help, too.
2am, Saturday: Berry Park
After a day of playing soccer in McCarren with the cool sharpness of a German national team member, soothe those aching muscles with a sharp German lager from the expertly curated selection of imports served on the expansive rooftop deck of this park-side soccer bar.
3am, Friday: Lowlands
With the lovely, pristine Gowanus Canal just a few blocks distant, this new spot from the owners of Abilene (itself featuring very nice outdoor tables), Lowlands has a sweet and leafy garden spot that has the particular advantage of staying open extra late.
4am, Sunday: The Waterfront Behind the Red Hook Fairway
Grab whatever delicacy you crave (oysters, Fritos), brownbag the beer, and head along a waterside path (just off the back patio) until the view of Lower Manhattan catches your fancy.
5am, Thursday: H&H Bagels at the Hudson
On the same far, far West Side block as massive club complexes Pacha and Hudson Terrace, New York's biggest bagel bakery churns 'em out all day and night, and though there's no seating, you can take it right across the street to eat on the banks of the Hudson, or chow out front and watch the parade of club-goers stumbling East.
6am, Wednesday: The Staten Island Ferry
It's a classic New York experience (except when it crashes): the wind in your hair, the lights of Lower Manhattan ablaze in the pre-dawn, a brown-bagged forty at your hip... And c'mon, it's free. Life is good.
7am, Monday: The Highline
We're still not sold on the High Line (a little too fussy, too... determined) but maybe that's because we're always there at prime times on the weekend, when it's a mad house. Mix yourself a nice Screwdriver in an old Burger King cup and feel the sun rise over your shoulder as you stare off into the West...