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13. You've heard about Shoot the Freak (Riegelmann, near Stillwell Ave.) on the boards at Coney Island at one point or another during your extended vacation in New York from Everywhere Else, U.S.A., but you've never gone. Why? Probably because you didn't know that shots at the freak start as low as $3.
14. Slane Public House (102 Macdougal St.) has $1 well drinks from noon to 2pm, so here's the math: $1 well drink + $1 well drink + $1 tip = you, pleasantly buzzed in the middle of the afternoon without looking like a total lint-pocket scumbag—just a bad tipper. You know, a regular scumbag.
15. For three bucks you can get a plain onion and pickled herring fillet at Russ and Daughters (179 E. Houston St.), which is like a Katz's Deli for appetizers. Our recommendation: chase a shot of vodka with a bite of the herring. The Russian in you, or at least next to you, will love it.
Things to do for $4
16. The P.S. 1 Contemporary Art Center (22-25 Jackson Ave.) is the quintessential art destination when trying to take in the mod scene, and although the exhibits are usually worth every single dollar of the five suggested, we don't think they'll mind if you pay just four. (Since you spent that other dollar on pickles. Glutton.)
17. A six-pack of Simpler Times Lager is 72 ounces of 6.2% alcohol-by-volume "beer," and at just under four clams ($3.69 at Trader Joes, 130 Court St.) this is the perfect way to obliterate your anxiety about money while spending very little of it.
18. Bowlmor Lanes (110 University Pl.) must have hired a veritable army of aspiring admen to come up with cheekily titled promotions such as this one: Fourmerly Employed Wednesdays, on which everything is "afourdable": the bowling is $4, and so is the beer.
19. For all the book nerds out there: $4 will net you an electronic copy of the latest short story in The Atlantic on Amazon. That is, of course, if you've already shelled out the $400 for the Kindle.
20. Ok, we know we cheated a little with that last one, but for whatever reason, there just isn't a lot to do with $4 in the city these days. So, like good, bored delinquents we suggest channeling your inner Basquiat and go tagging [Do not -Legal Dept.]. You and six friends can get a sixer of aerosol cans from the Home Depot (40 W. 23rd St.) for just under four smackers a piece. Save the change for your one phone call.
Things to do for $5
21. There is a rumor that the crowd at The Kent Theater (170 Coney Island Ave.) can be just as entertaining (or obnoxious) as the movie that you are going to see. And that's fine [No it's not -Ed.], because most tickets for this neolithic cinema house never jump above five bucks.
22. It has been argued that life is nothing if not improv comedy, but for just a sawbuck (or less), many of the improv acts at the Upright Citizens Brigade Theatre (307 W 26th St.) are, thankfully, cheaper than life, and almost as funny as that thing that guy said or did that time.