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GIZMOS, GADGETS & WHATSITS
$24.95, Hammacher Schlemmer
Who doesn't have cold feet in the winter? People with heated socks, that's who! Ten to twelve hours of battery-warmed legs, and all it requires is a handful of D batteries. Who can think of the environment at a time like winter? (And winter is totally the environment's fault anyway.)
Make a Clock Kit $14.95, Star Magic
No gifts are more appreciated than those that make the receiver put in a bit of labor: in this case, it'll be to build a clock! All the gears are brightly colored, and the face transparent, so once your gift-recipient has finished, he or she can show off to all of their friends the complicated assembly that went into building their ugly clock.
Candle Stick Flashlight $20, Mxyplyzyk
It looks like a candlestick, so it's classy, but it's really a flashlight, so you can actually use it for something besides murdering Mr. Boddy.
Robosharpener $10, Daily 235
Sharpen your pencil inside this robot, and it winds him up and makes him walk. Anyone would love this for two reasons: one, it would encourage them to use more pencils (which everyone wishes they did), and, two, it is a walking robot.
Cooper-Hewitt Design Museum, $25
These tiny spherical magnets come in packs of 216 and will haunt your dreams. What do they do? Well, nothing, except cause a person to paw them obsessively, all day long, trying to make shapes and failing, relieving stress with each squeeze. Buckyballs: we hate you and we love you. Paradox!
Fake Winning Lottery Tickets $1.79 for 5, stupid.com
Take revenge on the people who stuck a losing lottery ticket in your Christmas card by giving them a winner—a fake one! Nothing beats building up someone's hopes and dreams only to crush them. That'll teach them just to give us the dollar next time.
Mini Knife Light Tool Logic, $24.99, Designer Gifts
Every woman should carry a knife in case of a nighttime assault. But in that obscure moonlight, who can stab straight? Thanks to Tool Logic, now she can grip her blade and shine a light while keeping a free hand, thanks to this 2 oz. contraption that includes an emergency whistle, as well. Now she'll know whether she shanked the creep in the stomach or sternum. Fits in her purse!