5 Boozy Ways to Keep Your New Year’s Resolutions 

How many times have you tried and failed to keep your New Year’s Resolutions? If you’re like us (and you are), the first two failures involve cold pizza and flat champagne on New Year’s Day. But maybe you’re trying too hard. Maybe you should set yourself attainable goals, with built-in rewards…

1. Resolution: Save money


Solution: As long as you’re willing to invest some planning time and don’t mind bar hopping in search of the best happy hour, Brooklyn’s food and drink specials can keep you from ever paying full price again. Since you’re saving the “Be less lazy” resolution for next year, we’ve worked out an itinerary for your Thursday night that will keep you drinking for five hours, averaging two drinks an hour for $25. You’re welcome.

Pete’s Candy Store, 709 Lorimer St, $2 for drafts and well drinks. Walking time to next stop: 4 minutes.

Union Pool, 486 Union Ave, $5 for two Buds. Walking time to next stop: 3 minutes.

Odyssea Bklyn, 486 Metropolitan Ave, $6 for a draft and a shot. Subway time to next stop (G to Hoyt-Schermerhorn): God only knows, take a car, you’ve saved enough money already.

Brazen Head, 228 Atlantic Ave, $5 for one of three selected brews.

Grand Total: $25!

2. Resolution: Learn something important


“All the history you knew but forgot, and all the booze you need to forget it again” is the slogan of the Society for the Advancement of Social Studies (SASS). Every month, SASS hosts lectures on topics like the Holy Crusades, the Civil War and Russia at Public Assembly. Both students and teachers are encouraged to fill up on themed drink specials. Free admission, details at getsaucedatsass.tumblr.com

3. Resolution: Learn to make something


Become a member of Pints n’ Purls, a group of over 500 knitters, crocheters and needlepoint enthusiasts who are just as dedicated to craft beer as they are to being crafty. The group welcomes all levels for weekly sessions. Join them for a pint (or three) and some guidance with your stockinette stitch. (We are told that “stockinette stitch” is a legitimate reference to actual knitting. We have no idea what it means.) Free to join, meetup.com/NYC-Pints-N-Purls

4. Resolution: Spend quality time

with friends and family


Get four or more friends to come over and host a boozy bouquets class from Flower Social. During the hour-long workshops with names like “Roses and Rosé” and “Bulbs and Bubbly,” you’ll get to taste regional wines while learning the ins and outs of floral design from some seasoned pros. SERIOUSLY, THIS IS NOT A JOKE, IT’S FUN. Don’t worry, if your tipsy arrangement is less than perfect: the designers will make sure everyone can still get bragging rights at home. Free for host, $80 per person for friends, flowersocial.com

5. Resolution: Stop stressing


Solution #1:
Breathing exercises, yoga and clean living are just too much work. How about a Happy Hour Martini spa package from Green Spa? Choose either a chocolate body exfoliation, organic facial or chocolate spa pedicure and get a free martini or glass of wine as well as $5 sangria from Green Spa’s sister store HOM next door. Make an appointment for any Friday from 4-8pm. $50 per person, 8804 Third Ave, Bay Ridge, greenspany.com

Solution #2:

There is no better way to relax than to take a day in a Russian banya. At Sandoony, do a few cycles of sauna followed by an icy plunge pool and your muscles will get that euphoric putty feeling that usually follows a good workout. Say yes to an oak-leaf venik “massage” to purge yourself of any toxins and get your blood moving. In true Russian style, a good cleanse is just not worth your time without some drinking. Our poison of choice? Baltika’s number 9, which tastes like vodka diluted with beer and has the alcohol levels to match. For full authenticity, snack on a plate of herring and potatoes. $30 entrance fee, 1158 McDonald Ave, Borough Park, sandoonyusa.com


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