6 Spotify Playlists, One for Every Possible Valentine's Day Scenario, Or Something Like That
by Lauren Beck
Valentine's Day can be the best day of the year. It can also be one of the worst. Or totally inconsequential! Whatever your feelings towards it or the romantic situation you find yourself in, there's a playlist out there to soak up the emotion. Here are six vaguely themed mixes, all ready to go on Spotify, complete with liner notes. The entire Magnetic Fields catalog would also work in this situation. Happy Valentine's Day guys, and thanks for reading. WE LOVE YOU (but in a totally non-creepy way).
I Like You But Am Too Shy to Tell You So I'm Going to Let This Playlist Do the Talking
1. The Beach Boys - Wouldn't It Be Nice (Stack-O-Vocals version)
No reason to beat around the bush. You like this person, and an a capella demo of one of the greatest pop songs known to man is not a bad heart-on-sleeve hint to kick things off.
2. Department of Eagles - No One Does It Like You
No one sings like you, guy in Grizzly Bear. No one walks/talks/chews/coughs/laughs like ____, person you like.
3. Wild Nothing - Live in Dreams
Wistful longing is what you're communicating here.
4. Animal Collective - Turn Into Something
Feels is said to be Animal Collective's "love album" as Avey and Panda wrote the bulk of it while courting their would-be wives. "Turn Into Something" bursts with hope of what could be.
5. The Dodos - Undeclared
If they haven't fallen for you by track five, there's a chance they have really awful taste in music.
6. The Concretes - You Can't Hurry Love
Or maybe they're just hesitant to dive into anything headfirst. In that case, here's one that'll let them know you totally get them.
7. Geggy Tah - Whoever You Are
Conveys your sense of humor. You do have a sense of humor, right?
8. Idiot Glee - Let's Get Down Together
Soda-shop-and-sock-hop pop for modern-day lovebirds whom wish to get down together.
9. Noah & the Whale - 5 Years Time
"In five years time we might not get along, but in five years time you might prove me wrong." Mix tapes were made for this stuff.
10. Built to Spill - Fly Around My Pretty Little Miss
Flitty, quirky, the sound of the chase. With the line, "You are amazing/Half of them won't know until you're gone," Doug Martsch signals he sees something in this girl and let's her know he's worth it, take a chance on him.
11. Weezer - El Scorcho
The ultimate anthem of unrequited love. You guys going to dance to this at your wedding, aren't you? And laugh about how your entire relationship can be traced back to a playlist you found online from a biweekly arts-and-culture guide. And then live happily ever after keeping each others' fingernails clean?
Listen here on Spotify.
Love Hurts, But I'm Too Sad to Be Bitter
1. Yeah Yeah Yeahs - Maps
Karen O's fabled plea to then-boyfriend Angus Andrew to wait... and stay by her side (some sources go as far as to claim "Maps" is an acronym for "My Angus please stay"). Those tears in the music video are real, by the way. Begin commiserating now.
2. Liars - The Other Side of Mt. Heart Attack
Andrews' alleged response to "Maps." It's almost too much to handle.
3. Broken Social Scene - Lover's Spit
You're off to a good start, might as well sink lower into the universal beauty of heartbreak.
4. Anika - I Go to Sleep
Universality, see? You're not the only one sleeping alone. From the melody, to the tempo, to the vocals — everything in this song aches.
5. Bauhaus - All We Ever Wanted Was Everything
The saddest part, this might be Peter Murphy's happiest song.
6. Bon Iver - Skinny Love
Obviously.
7. Camera Obscura - I Don't Want to See You
Tracyanne Campbell "doesn't want to be a whining girl" either... but it's hard, you understand.
8. Marine Girls - In Love
A momentarily valiant attempt to put on a happy face.
9. Girls - Hellhole Ratrace
Even with one of 2011's most immaculately lovelorn albums to his name, Christopher Owens' most heart-crushing moment may still be "I'm all alone with my heartache and my good intentions."
10. Titus Andronicus - No Future
Might as well wallow a bit while we're here.
11. Beulah - My Horoscope Said It Would Be a Bad Year
Further wallow.
12. Built to Spill - Else
Even in the context of Built to Spill's lauded career, this one stands out as something rare and special — an agonizing moment set into eternity.
13. M. Ward - Poison Cup
Here we see a slight turn towards the bitter, the poisonous. Drink it up.
14. The Tallest Man on Earth - You're Going Back
Here a small Swedish man yells "fuck" while clawing your heart out.
15. The Walkmen - We've Been Had
It's over, officially. You can come by and get your stuff whenever, I don't care. I'm moving to New York City.
16. The Mountain Goats - Woke Up New
Funny how it's the small things you tend to miss the most. But then the "world started to come alive," and we got "ready for the future to arrive."
Listen here on Spotify.
Now I'm Bitter
1. Darlings - If This Is Love
"...then I'm over it. Hearts and talks and credit cards (Is he saying credit cards there?), then I'm over it." The finest anti-Valentine's Day anthem you'll find from a Brooklyn band. And it definitely is an anthem, mind you.
2. Los Campesinos! - Romance Is Boring
The Welsh whippersnappers' use words as razor blades. They may be young, but they're certainly not jaded.
3. Big Troubles - Sad Girls
Ignore Big Troubles' lyrics, and this would be the perfect soundtrack to Brooklyn Date Night. But the dreamy feel is undercut with the whole, "Love is in the air... And if I hear the word again, I think I'll drill a hole in my head" thing.
4. Forest Fire - Fortune Teller
Retaliation.
5. The Raveonettes - My Boyfriend's Back (The Angels cover)
The Raveonettes' jittery, teasing take on the classic makes it clear the girl in question is no longer emotionally available. Sorry, Jack.
6. The Magnetic Fields - Yeah! Oh, Yeah!
Um, retaliation, part two.
7. Ida Maria - I Like You So Much Better When You're Naked
Alternate song title: "You're Not All That Great."
8. Hunters - Deadbeat
An aggro-pumped, guitar-fueled variation on TLC's "No Scrubs," basically.
9. Joy Division - Love Will Tear Us Apart
Tortured frontman, a seared heart for two women, perhaps one of the most recognizable choruses in the past 30-some years, and it makes a great ringtone.
10. The Rural Alberta Advantage - Two Lovers
Bitterness knows no bounds as it extends into what is typically considered "polite" music. The homey folk rockers in Rural Alberta Advantage turn a cheek with talk of crushed bones. This, coming from Canadians!
11. Neutral Milk Hotel - Gardenhead/Leave Me Alone
They had to learn it from someone, though.
12. Modest Mouse - That'll Be the Day (Buddy Holly cover)
Isaac Brock can make anything sound sinister, which is actually a pretty great talent. He wipes away Holly's squeaky clean image, leaving a charred, sore lump of a heart.
13. Tripping Daisy - I Got a Girl One for the guys.
14. Kate Nash - Foundations
And one for the girls.
Listen here on Spotify.
A Mix I'd Give Ty Segall on February 14 If He Were My Boyfriend
1. The Magnetic Fields - Come Back From San Francisco
He lives in San Fran, I live in Brooklyn. That first line is perfect.
2. Tropical Popsicle - The Age of Attraction
The type of song that would soundtrack a romantic comedy following a guitar player and a music writer at the start of a budding relationship, starring Ryan Gosling and Mandy Moore, thank you very much.
3. The Pains of Being Pure at Heart - The Pains of Being Pure at Heart
Bottles the feel of young love into a two-minute tirade, ever so endearingly.
4. Terry Malts - Tumble Down
Music for frolicking around San Francisco from a San Francisco band.
5. The Babies - Meet Me in the City
Music for frolicking around Brooklyn by a Brooklyn band.
6. Gospel Music - Are Your Parents Still Together? (feat. Cassie Ramone)
We can do it better.
7. Best Coast - When I'm With You
Best Coast hearts the beach and having fun, which makes it seem like a logical choice for this one.
8. Mikal Cronin - You Gotta Have Someone
"You gotta have someone, even if they're not there." Ha. Haha.
9. The Promise Ring - Make Me a Mixtape
Meta.
10. Japanther - Um, Like, Your Smile Is Totally Ruling Me Right Now
No comment on this one.
11. Times New Viking - Ever Falling in Love
This was one of my favorite favorite songs from 2011, Ty. What was yours?
12. Beulah - If We Can Land a Man on the Moon, Surely I Can Win Your Heart
Right?
Listen here on Spotify.
For Those Who've Reached the Point Where Being a Contestant on "The Bachelor"/"The Bachelorette" Sounds Like a Good Idea
1. The Beastie Boys - Girls
A key element to the series, obviously. The Beastie Boys
2. Belle & Sebastian - White Collar BoyWithout him, there would be no "Bachelorette."
3. Bran Van 3000 - Drinking in L.A.What you should be prepared to do on the show.
4. Boat - God Save the Man Who Isn't All That Super
"In the five days I've known you, I've told you lies and things that aren't true/I've told you all about my family." Also, you're not always that super, Bachelor guy/Bachelorette lady.
5. Darlings - TV
A love letter to television.
6. Dum Dum Girls - Teardrops on My Pillow
See: track three.
7. Girls - Lust for Life
Everybody's a little crazy, remember that.
8. LCD Soundsystem - Drunk Girls
See: track three.
9. Sonny & the Sunsets - Love Among Social Animals
Some call the reality television dating show a social experiment. Here's a song for that.
10. Woom - The HuntIf Courtney the Mean Supermodel has taught us anything this season, it's all about the thrill of the hunt.
11. The Glands - Swim
Well, to take the song title literally, you should be prepared to go swimming daily and have an assortment of 12-14 bathing suits on hand during the course of the season. Sonically, the melody beckons you to lean in. See: track ten.
12. Buzzcocks - Ever Fallen in Love (With Someone You Shouldn't've?)Oh, you mean every couple that ends up together on this show with the exception of ABC's saving grace Trista and Ryan?
13. Wreckless Eric - Whole Wide WorldThis final three-song suite has a kind of strange poetry to it, reminding us that what may seem like exaggerated feelings to the listener/viewer are sometimes not at all exaggerated to the musician/participant.
14. The Smiths - Please, Please, Please Let Me Get What I Want
15. Guided by Voices - Hold on HopeThis goes out to everyone who's sat in the backseat of a black car and balled their eyes out.
Listen here on Spotify.
Screw It, Brooklyn Can Be Our Collective Valentine
This one doesn't call for line-by-line commentary as much as it does a general thesis. We end with a love letter to Brooklyn, compiled from mostly local artists who remind us that when all else fails, we have New York. Cue cityscape montage with Track 1 playing in the background and us blotting our tear-stained cheeks. Happy Valentine's Day.
1. The Avett Brothers - I And Love and You
2. The Beets - For You
3. The So So Glos - My Block
4. Caged Animals - Teflon Heart
5. Chairlift - Bruises
7. Making Friendz - Situation
8. Fergus & Geronimo - Girls With English Accents
9. Good Old War - Coney Island
10. Family Tree - Dream Talkin'
11. Hospitality - Friend of Friends
12. Jeffrey Lewis - Cult Boyfriend
13. Eleanor Friedberger - I Won't Fall Apart on You Tonight
14. The Shivers - Just Didn't Need to Know
15. Spanish Prisoners - Know No Violence
16. Brooklyn - Creaky Boards
Listen here on Spotify.
Follow Lauren Beck on Twitter @heylaurenbeck.
1. The Beach Boys - Wouldn't It Be Nice (Stack-O-Vocals version)
No reason to beat around the bush. You like this person, and an a capella demo of one of the greatest pop songs known to man is not a bad heart-on-sleeve hint to kick things off.
2. Department of Eagles - No One Does It Like You
No one sings like you, guy in Grizzly Bear. No one walks/talks/chews/coughs/laughs like ____, person you like.
3. Wild Nothing - Live in Dreams
Wistful longing is what you're communicating here.
4. Animal Collective - Turn Into Something
Feels is said to be Animal Collective's "love album" as Avey and Panda wrote the bulk of it while courting their would-be wives. "Turn Into Something" bursts with hope of what could be.
5. The Dodos - Undeclared
If they haven't fallen for you by track five, there's a chance they have really awful taste in music.
6. The Concretes - You Can't Hurry Love
Or maybe they're just hesitant to dive into anything headfirst. In that case, here's one that'll let them know you totally get them.
7. Geggy Tah - Whoever You Are
Conveys your sense of humor. You do have a sense of humor, right?
8. Idiot Glee - Let's Get Down Together
Soda-shop-and-sock-hop pop for modern-day lovebirds whom wish to get down together.
9. Noah & the Whale - 5 Years Time
"In five years time we might not get along, but in five years time you might prove me wrong." Mix tapes were made for this stuff.
10. Built to Spill - Fly Around My Pretty Little Miss
Flitty, quirky, the sound of the chase. With the line, "You are amazing/Half of them won't know until you're gone," Doug Martsch signals he sees something in this girl and let's her know he's worth it, take a chance on him.
11. Weezer - El Scorcho
The ultimate anthem of unrequited love. You guys going to dance to this at your wedding, aren't you? And laugh about how your entire relationship can be traced back to a playlist you found online from a biweekly arts-and-culture guide. And then live happily ever after keeping each others' fingernails clean?
Listen here on Spotify.
1. Yeah Yeah Yeahs - Maps
Karen O's fabled plea to then-boyfriend Angus Andrew to wait... and stay by her side (some sources go as far as to claim "Maps" is an acronym for "My Angus please stay"). Those tears in the music video are real, by the way. Begin commiserating now.
2. Liars - The Other Side of Mt. Heart Attack
Andrews' alleged response to "Maps." It's almost too much to handle.
3. Broken Social Scene - Lover's Spit
You're off to a good start, might as well sink lower into the universal beauty of heartbreak.
4. Anika - I Go to Sleep
Universality, see? You're not the only one sleeping alone. From the melody, to the tempo, to the vocals — everything in this song aches.
5. Bauhaus - All We Ever Wanted Was Everything
The saddest part, this might be Peter Murphy's happiest song.
6. Bon Iver - Skinny Love
Obviously.
7. Camera Obscura - I Don't Want to See You
Tracyanne Campbell "doesn't want to be a whining girl" either... but it's hard, you understand.
8. Marine Girls - In Love
A momentarily valiant attempt to put on a happy face.
9. Girls - Hellhole Ratrace
Even with one of 2011's most immaculately lovelorn albums to his name, Christopher Owens' most heart-crushing moment may still be "I'm all alone with my heartache and my good intentions."
10. Titus Andronicus - No Future
Might as well wallow a bit while we're here.
11. Beulah - My Horoscope Said It Would Be a Bad Year
Further wallow.
12. Built to Spill - Else
Even in the context of Built to Spill's lauded career, this one stands out as something rare and special — an agonizing moment set into eternity.
13. M. Ward - Poison Cup
Here we see a slight turn towards the bitter, the poisonous. Drink it up.
14. The Tallest Man on Earth - You're Going Back
Here a small Swedish man yells "fuck" while clawing your heart out.
15. The Walkmen - We've Been Had
It's over, officially. You can come by and get your stuff whenever, I don't care. I'm moving to New York City.
16. The Mountain Goats - Woke Up New
Funny how it's the small things you tend to miss the most. But then the "world started to come alive," and we got "ready for the future to arrive."
Listen here on Spotify.
1. Darlings - If This Is Love
"...then I'm over it. Hearts and talks and credit cards (Is he saying credit cards there?), then I'm over it." The finest anti-Valentine's Day anthem you'll find from a Brooklyn band. And it definitely is an anthem, mind you.
2. Los Campesinos! - Romance Is Boring
The Welsh whippersnappers' use words as razor blades. They may be young, but they're certainly not jaded.
3. Big Troubles - Sad Girls
Ignore Big Troubles' lyrics, and this would be the perfect soundtrack to Brooklyn Date Night. But the dreamy feel is undercut with the whole, "Love is in the air... And if I hear the word again, I think I'll drill a hole in my head" thing.
4. Forest Fire - Fortune Teller
Retaliation.
5. The Raveonettes - My Boyfriend's Back (The Angels cover)
The Raveonettes' jittery, teasing take on the classic makes it clear the girl in question is no longer emotionally available. Sorry, Jack.
6. The Magnetic Fields - Yeah! Oh, Yeah!
Um, retaliation, part two.
7. Ida Maria - I Like You So Much Better When You're Naked
Alternate song title: "You're Not All That Great."
8. Hunters - Deadbeat
An aggro-pumped, guitar-fueled variation on TLC's "No Scrubs," basically.
9. Joy Division - Love Will Tear Us Apart
Tortured frontman, a seared heart for two women, perhaps one of the most recognizable choruses in the past 30-some years, and it makes a great ringtone.
10. The Rural Alberta Advantage - Two Lovers
Bitterness knows no bounds as it extends into what is typically considered "polite" music. The homey folk rockers in Rural Alberta Advantage turn a cheek with talk of crushed bones. This, coming from Canadians!
11. Neutral Milk Hotel - Gardenhead/Leave Me Alone
They had to learn it from someone, though.
12. Modest Mouse - That'll Be the Day (Buddy Holly cover)
Isaac Brock can make anything sound sinister, which is actually a pretty great talent. He wipes away Holly's squeaky clean image, leaving a charred, sore lump of a heart.
13. Tripping Daisy - I Got a Girl One for the guys.
14. Kate Nash - Foundations
And one for the girls.
Listen here on Spotify.
1. The Magnetic Fields - Come Back From San Francisco
He lives in San Fran, I live in Brooklyn. That first line is perfect.
2. Tropical Popsicle - The Age of Attraction
The type of song that would soundtrack a romantic comedy following a guitar player and a music writer at the start of a budding relationship, starring Ryan Gosling and Mandy Moore, thank you very much.
3. The Pains of Being Pure at Heart - The Pains of Being Pure at Heart
Bottles the feel of young love into a two-minute tirade, ever so endearingly.
4. Terry Malts - Tumble Down
Music for frolicking around San Francisco from a San Francisco band.
5. The Babies - Meet Me in the City
Music for frolicking around Brooklyn by a Brooklyn band.
6. Gospel Music - Are Your Parents Still Together? (feat. Cassie Ramone)
We can do it better.
7. Best Coast - When I'm With You
Best Coast hearts the beach and having fun, which makes it seem like a logical choice for this one.
8. Mikal Cronin - You Gotta Have Someone
"You gotta have someone, even if they're not there." Ha. Haha.
9. The Promise Ring - Make Me a Mixtape
Meta.
10. Japanther - Um, Like, Your Smile Is Totally Ruling Me Right Now
No comment on this one.
11. Times New Viking - Ever Falling in Love
This was one of my favorite favorite songs from 2011, Ty. What was yours?
12. Beulah - If We Can Land a Man on the Moon, Surely I Can Win Your Heart
Right?
Listen here on Spotify.
1. The Beastie Boys - Girls
A key element to the series, obviously. The Beastie Boys
2. Belle & Sebastian - White Collar BoyWithout him, there would be no "Bachelorette."
3. Bran Van 3000 - Drinking in L.A.What you should be prepared to do on the show.
4. Boat - God Save the Man Who Isn't All That Super
"In the five days I've known you, I've told you lies and things that aren't true/I've told you all about my family." Also, you're not always that super, Bachelor guy/Bachelorette lady.
5. Darlings - TV
A love letter to television.
6. Dum Dum Girls - Teardrops on My Pillow
See: track three.
7. Girls - Lust for Life
Everybody's a little crazy, remember that.
8. LCD Soundsystem - Drunk Girls
See: track three.
9. Sonny & the Sunsets - Love Among Social Animals
Some call the reality television dating show a social experiment. Here's a song for that.
10. Woom - The HuntIf Courtney the Mean Supermodel has taught us anything this season, it's all about the thrill of the hunt.
11. The Glands - Swim
Well, to take the song title literally, you should be prepared to go swimming daily and have an assortment of 12-14 bathing suits on hand during the course of the season. Sonically, the melody beckons you to lean in. See: track ten.
12. Buzzcocks - Ever Fallen in Love (With Someone You Shouldn't've?)Oh, you mean every couple that ends up together on this show with the exception of ABC's saving grace Trista and Ryan?
13. Wreckless Eric - Whole Wide WorldThis final three-song suite has a kind of strange poetry to it, reminding us that what may seem like exaggerated feelings to the listener/viewer are sometimes not at all exaggerated to the musician/participant.
14. The Smiths - Please, Please, Please Let Me Get What I Want
15. Guided by Voices - Hold on HopeThis goes out to everyone who's sat in the backseat of a black car and balled their eyes out.
Listen here on Spotify.
This one doesn't call for line-by-line commentary as much as it does a general thesis. We end with a love letter to Brooklyn, compiled from mostly local artists who remind us that when all else fails, we have New York. Cue cityscape montage with Track 1 playing in the background and us blotting our tear-stained cheeks. Happy Valentine's Day.
1. The Avett Brothers - I And Love and You
2. The Beets - For You
3. The So So Glos - My Block
4. Caged Animals - Teflon Heart
5. Chairlift - Bruises
7. Making Friendz - Situation
8. Fergus & Geronimo - Girls With English Accents
9. Good Old War - Coney Island
10. Family Tree - Dream Talkin'
11. Hospitality - Friend of Friends
12. Jeffrey Lewis - Cult Boyfriend
13. Eleanor Friedberger - I Won't Fall Apart on You Tonight
14. The Shivers - Just Didn't Need to Know
15. Spanish Prisoners - Know No Violence
16. Brooklyn - Creaky Boards
Listen here on Spotify.
Follow Lauren Beck on Twitter @heylaurenbeck.
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