The Measure
Your criminal justice system at work, people.
by Jonny Diamond
Tags: News , The Bronx , snowballs , snowball fights , off-duty cops , youth , hijinks , fun and games , jail , prison , justice , injustice , What the hell are we doing?
The Measure
This just in: It's adorable and retro-ish.
The Measure
I like fire. Fire is pretty.
The Measure
With no words (or tweets) from the St. Louis MC in over a month, and a record due in three weeks, his label is asking for help.
The Measure
We were right on top of this one from the beginning. That there is some top-notch film section curatorship, mm?
The Measure
Willie's wild insults were his greatest contribution to the English language.
The Measure
99 year-old beat up by 83 year-old "still faklempt" over "hitting thing".
The Measure
The art world is in overdrive this week, and you will be too if you plan to see even close to half of the fairs.
by Benjamin Sutton
Tags: Art , nyc art , art fairs , Armory Week , Armory Show , Volta , Pulse , Verge , ADAA , Independent , Scope , Fountain , Williamsburg Gallery Association
The Measure
Junk food, ballgowns and Oscar.
The Measure
Yesterday it was idle speculation, today it's active speculation.
The Measure
What the hell, man. Some things I just don't get.
The Measure
One MC comes back from the brink of death, another is nowhere to be found.
The Measure
Naughtily points out pieces that are phallic and vaginal.
The Measure
This Sunday at BAM, an underrated Hitchcock "wrong man" plot puts its suffering star through exquisite torment.
The Measure
If I had the money, I'd totally buy a Greek island.
The Measure
And the Pharmacists, too. I always forget about the Pharmacists.
The Measure
For the price of a few cocktails you can save the lives of young, sick animals.
by Amanda Park Taylor
Tags: News , dogs , cats , puppies , kittens , shelters , food drives , CACC , canned food , kitty litter , public servicey
The Measure
John Cusack travels back to when he was cute and funny.
The Measure
I just realized I don't know if anyone likes me enough to get a tattoo of me on their thigh, and it's making me very sad.
The Measure
What kind of country do we live in when people can come and just take your parrot?
The Measure
Over what? Well, the sexualization of children, of course.
The Measure
There's video, which you should watch, unless you want to walk to the store and buy me beer, in which case you should do that instead.
The Measure
Robert Moses, thy will be done.
The Measure
But I guess it doesn't really matter, now does it?
The Measure
The recession is so bad even bank robbers are cutting corners—in their demands.
The Measure
In which your film editor learns a valuable lesson.
The Measure
Movies by New Yorkers and Texans, and the next hot trend in mixology.
The Measure
In which condo buyers are zombies and the glassy towers they inhabit loom large and ominous over the neighborhood.
The Measure
Our iPhone app wants to get you drunk!
The Measure
Everybody seems to be ok, but, you know, Christ.
The Measure
Some days you just wonder what's the point in carrying on?
by Jonny Diamond
Tags: News , World's Fattest Woman , America's Oldest Person , World's Shortest Man , He Pingping , Guinness Book of Records , the world is too much with us , I have a philosophy degree , I am depressed , let's talk about me for a second , sometimes it's hard to get up , is this where you thought you'd end up? World's Saddest Man , I used to write poetry , I hate the Internet , Clovis , Will Spring make it better? , did I ever tell you about the time I hitchhiked through Normandy and got picked up by a one-armed farmer with a deathwish? , there are times when the only way I can communicate my true feelings is through tagging
The Measure
Last night's episode was about obliterating the season up to now—which is fine by me. Painted yourself into a corner? Burn down the room.
The Measure
The liberal wing of the Court: snippy in defeat.
The Measure
Well, that's just great. No universal health care, too many guns, fatness... AND NOW I'M POOR.
The Measure
Stories about pets and their owners in which one of them dies always get me.
The Measure
Wikipedia reveals the sexy, secret history that they don't teach you in school.
The Measure
Godzilla Haiku
The Measure
Coast to a respectable mid-table finish in your Oscar pool with our HOTT PIX!
The Measure
Competitive eating history happened right in our backyard yesterday.
The Measure
Being an unpaid intern isn't like getting a trophy.
The Measure
As if the art fairs weren't already more than enough, galleries throughout the city are throwing parties tonight.
by Benjamin Sutton
Tags: Art , nyc art , brooklyn art , art fairs , art parties , opening receptions , Nicelle Beauchene Gallery , R. Crumb , David Zwirner , Danziger Projects , Deitch Projects , The Drawing Center
The Measure
The U.S. Postal Service's newest set of stamps includes works by Pollock, Gorky and de Kooning.
by Deirdre Hering
Tags: Art , Abstract Expressionist , paintings , stamps , Jackson Pollock , Mark Rothko , Arshile Gorky , Willem de Kooning , Joan Mitchell , USPS , affordable art
The Measure
No Oscar party is complete without a terrible food-related pun. Like Avatart.
The Measure
Not just a Twitter rumor. (Though it sounds like the sort of thing that would be a Twitter rumor.)
The Measure
Shakespeare on national television? What is this, England?
The Measure
Rejoice, old-ish white men.
The Measure
In a showdown between two new laser-ific Tumblr blogs, who would win?
The Measure
Sad news strikes the music world yet again.
The Measure
What are the London critics saying about Andrew Lloyd Webber's just-opened Love Never Dies ?
The Measure
And though it's not always clear which famous people they are, we're still pretty much down with this dude.
The Measure
In which a lion, a tiger and a bear live a care-free life in their cabana retreat, sipping mojitos and playing bridge.
The Measure
Now that the Oscars are over can we get back to the painful gridlock in Washington?
The Measure
Show your anger at the government seizing property and giving it to rich people.
The Measure
What could possibly go wrong.
The Measure
Get your passport ready, nerds.
The Measure
Even if he did, nobody seems to be noticing.
The Measure
Other than the Viking poem, I mean.
The Measure
One teacher's self-destructive quest to chronicle the grossness of public school lunches for an entire year.
The Measure
It's ok if you think this is completely disgusting.
The Measure
"Banana Shpeel" delayed, again. Which probably means it's gonna be really good.
The Measure
Penguins in Heaven is probably pretty close to what penguin heaven looks like: very cute.
The Measure
Now you finally have an excuse to make that trip out to the Mill Basin Kosher Deli.
The Measure
Your second or maybe third most favorite MC from St. Louis who you'd forgotten existed (if you even knew to begin with) does, in fact, still exist.
The Measure
Molly Haskell introduces GWTW at Film Forum tomorrow.
The Measure
"Yeah, officer, I don't know what happened: it just kept accelerating and turning the wheel and making me drink mojitos."
The Measure
Ahahaha, it is hilarious when white people rap! Oh, wait, it's usually not, we guess. But it really is this time!
The Measure
At this point, Spider-Man: Turn Off the Dark needs its own Macbeth -type alternate title to be whispered softly backstage in hopes of avoiding tragedy. How 'bout: "The Arachnid Play"?
The Measure
A limited run of a non-musical version of Puccini's opera about starving artists opens tonight at The Flea.
The Measure
Mark, if you read this, please see the Magic Kids and report back to your poor co-workers stuck in New York during the biggest music festival of the year. I'm counting on you, buddy.
The Measure
Giant golden statues with gaping flesh wounds turned up at two random locations before Oscar weekend.
The Measure
The "godmother of performance art" is chatting with museum visitors and aiming arrows at tourists on Broadway.
The Measure
Because he democrats don't want him to? Because they're fucking creepy as all hell?
The Measure
So it's totally cool that you still don't know who Muse is.
The Measure
Sit down and be mesmerized by Agnes Varda and Susan Sontag as they talk and smoke.
The Measure
In which I tell you a personal story about parrots found and truly evil mortgage companies.
by Jonny Diamond
Tags: News , Bank of America , mortgage crisis , foreclosure , predatory lending , parrots , Mr. Potter , recession , Kafkaesque , bureaucracy , sob stories
The Measure
My non-enjoyment of Funny People made me incapable of understanding his genius, but now I get it.
The Measure
This really is the perfect time to debate something like this. Not much else going on.
The Measure
Don't worry, we don't give it away (in this post at least).
by Jesse Hassenger
Tags: Film , Your Weekend at the Movies , Green Zone , Paul Greengrass , Mother , Bong Joon-ho , The Exploding Girl , Bradley Rust Gray , She's Out of My League , Our Family Wedding , Remember Me
The Measure
Bowersox returns, Lily kills it, Michelle sings what should be her last song ever.
The Measure
Alternate title: "Your Film Editor Fixated on a Coincidental Detail and Missed the Larger Point Completely (Again)."
The Measure
There's nothing about that in his severance deal.
The Measure
Switzerland wants extra-small condoms, Switzerland gets extra-small condoms.
The Measure
Inside the most exciting scandal to rock film criticism since the last time Armond White was in the news.
The Measure
"Funny video hits the web!" It's Friday.
The Measure
Considering where a Tim Burton project can be too Tim Burton-y.
The Measure
We'll just keep thinkin', Butch; that's what we're good at.
The Measure
Check out George Clinton's Skittles-colored (and -flavored?) hair in the new Big Boi video.
The Measure
First they came for our sunshine, and I did nothing...
The Measure
The NYC Share-a-Cab plan continues not to work. And now we have first-hand proof.
The Measure
Your blond, blue-eyed, suburban American terrorist has arrived.
by Jonny Diamond
Tags: News , Jihad Jane , terrorism , Colleen LaRose , Al Qaeda , unhinged white guys , Islam , Muslim extremism , terrorists , terror , unhinged white ladies
The Measure
Just in case the trio's much-anticipated record needed to be any more epic.
The Measure
Wow. A big, goofy Oscars dance number that wasn't embarrassing!
The Measure
I'm gonna go ahead and predict 120k in first-week sales for their new album.
The Measure
Now I don't have to keep listening to Apples in Stereo like a silly old person.
The Measure
Video from the Snook-alike's appearance on The Tonight Show .
The Measure
In which the harsh salt of exclusions is rubbed vigorously into the open seeping wound of bereavement.
The Measure
The Urban Repair Squad has a funny (temporary) solution for all the bumps and holes in our streets
The Measure
Or, holy shit, writing about golf is so much easier than writing about music... you don't even have to have headphones on all the time.
The Measure
The L contributor programmed a series of films based on the myth about the bloody chamber.
The Measure
Because I live to bring you news of our animal cousins at play in the urban jungle!
The Measure
If you love your country (in this case, America) this will make you depressed and angry.
by Jonny Diamond
Tags: Politics , Liz Cheney , Bill O'Reilly , Justice Department , Eric Holder , Al-Qaeda , terrorism , Guantanamo , Gitmo , doing the exact opposite of what made America great , Video
The Measure
It's either this, or I keep complaining about Lily Scott getting the boot last night.
The Measure
The L's Oscar coverage, now with 50% more snobbery.
The Measure
Also: we find the scariest Rite Aid ever.
The Measure
Andrew Lloyd Webber's Phantom sequel takes place mostly underwater, apparently.
The Measure
Stephen Hawking even says so, and he knows stuff.
The Measure
Controversial new Skin Fruit exhibition gets its own official protest posters.
The Measure
Another local business gets priced out. Great, just fucking great.
The Measure
Moving the pieces around, addressing mysteries and concocting first rate drama? Lost , what have you done with Lost ?
The Measure
Big Fed is coming for your child's mind.
The Measure
In which American governance is so frustrating you will want to drive a nail through your own eye.
The Measure
... he may already be familiar to you, as the Paris Review 's biggest advertiser. But he's very qualified!
The Measure
Not now, though.... tomorrow. At Brooklyn Bowl, where Brooklyn Lager will only cost $2.
The Measure
Hey, at least the kids are finally showing a little initiative, right?
The Measure
No longer will we be trapped in our dull two-dimensional imaginations.
The Measure
Were there really that many unacknowledged sex puns on The Golden Girls ? (Yes, apparently.)
The Measure
We are very happy to grant this first-ever award to a grumpy old Spaniard.
The Measure
Dear Humanity: you wrecked everything.
The Measure
If you sush somebody during a movie their friends will just up and stab you apparently. So.
The Measure
Because there is nothing better than live-blogging your colleague.
The Measure
Here, now, is your weekly New York City coyote sighting.
The Measure
After a crowd greeted him at his third and final sentencing date, Weezy started his Riker's Island bid yesterday.
The Measure
Way to go, everyone else. You continue to ruin everything.
The Measure
Let's all share styrofoam cups and fur coats and plastic bags and industrially farmed chickens and AND...
The Measure
(Peter Pan collars, choreographed dance routines, hula-hooping.)
The Measure
Although, in a backwards sort of way, it may be the most honest commercial ever made.
The Measure
It is a lot of fun to run around in the woods shooting guns, but let's not call it a "defense of America."
by Jonny Diamond
Tags: Politics , militias , citizens militias , terrorism , The War on Terror , Bossier , Louisiana , playing soldier , moving to Sweden , Sad America , stuff white people like , Video
The Measure
Flies in the vaseline, we are.
The Measure
The Brooklyn Mutt Show celebrates the noblest of creatures. Which would be the mutt.
The Measure
My professional life is full of exactly the kind of success I always dreamed of.
The Measure
New York is one of about 150 American cities to have bike routes and directions available on Google as of this morning.
The Measure
Oh, yeah, I'm at South by Southwest. It's aight.
The Measure
Sutton and Stewart present a pictorial dismantling of Oscar grandeur.
The Measure
Booze, long known for making other people more attractive, makes you more attractive, too.
The Measure
Our grotesque species continues its nauseating pantomime of banality.
by Jonny Diamond
Tags: Food & Drink , world's fattest woman , obesity , fatness , grossness , Sad America , New Jersey , Donna Simpson , terrible things , what's the point? , our sad species
The Measure
It was even better than the day Serena was here.
The Measure
Are communists trying to make us fat and complacent by paying our farmers for nothing but meat?
The Measure
I never thought that hack Sam Mendes was good enough for her.
The Measure
With just under a month to go before the release of Revolutions Per Minute , some luminescent visuals for the lead single.
The Measure
The Top 12 is set. Damned if I know who's in it, but it's set.
The Measure
Brooklyn's wackiest actor gave voice to non-professional writers, and it was fun.
The Measure
It's as good, or bad, a time as any, after all.
The Measure
As of early April, the outspoken, eminent domain-fighting dive will cease to exist.
The Measure
Michael Bolton has never invited me anywhere.
The Measure
The Two Gentlemen of Lebowski rolls into the Kraine Theater on Thursday with bats swinging.
The Measure
Since it's probably in bad taste to harp on C-Love losing custody of her kid, let us shift gears and harp on how bad she is at singing and, uh, co-writing songs.
The Measure
If people born in the 19th century are making it to 114, just think how broke this country is going to go once Boomers start hitting the century mark.
The Measure
A new retrospective of the films of Marguerite Duras includes hauntingly hermetic exercise.
The Measure
A resonant, even Utopian entry in the much-mocked 70s all-star disaster cycle screens at MoMA.
The Measure
Because Friday in Williamsburg means rocking out with feathered hair, eyeliner, and hot pants.
The Measure
Because if there's one thing the Old Grey Ladies hate, it's a taint.
The Measure
City picks slick new neon NYC condom wrapper to go into circulation in the fall.
The Measure
This weather sucks, so art parties concentrated in Chelsea and North Brooklyn are your best bets for staying dry.
by Benjamin Sutton
Tags: Art , nyc art , art parties , exhibition receptions , williamsburg art , free booze , Nicole Klagsbrun Gallery , Scaramouche Gallery , 179 Canal , Like the Spice , Eastern District , bushwick art
The Measure
Just because they're angry, unhinged white guys doesn't mean they're not terrorists.
by Jonny Diamond
Tags: News , Pentagon shooting , Pentagon shooter , John Patrick Bedell , Joseph Stack , The Pentagon , libertarians , Truthers , 9/11 Truthers , terrorism , terrorist , Major Nidal Hasan , Amy Bishop , Islam , I can write fear-mongering columns too! , Fox News
The Measure
Remember when "digital hardcore" was supposed to be a real thing? Heh.
The Measure
Are we having fun yet?
The Measure
Repent Amarillo is prepared to use "prayer warriors" to stop the "demonic takeover" of Amarillo, Texas.
The Measure
One yellow lab gets PTSD, another refuses to fight.
The Measure
But do you really want to know?
The Measure
Also, famous artists' studio assistants are just plain cooler than the rest of us.
The Measure
Before he became the new Paris Review editor, Lorin Stein edited the New Yorker critic, and a couple of his favorite recent books.
The Measure
In Romania, they protect the rights of staggering drunks.
The Measure
Free drinks and ok movies!
The Measure
The government seizes private property so a couple of rich dudes can build luxury apartments and a basketball court. People are pissed.
The Measure
In which an orange juice company goes all Old Testament on a town in Canada's Arctic North.
The Measure
The tweens are angry and they are coming for our money.
The Measure
The answer would seem to be yes.
The Measure
We're printing up Team Siobhan t-shirts right now, but only, like, three or four of them, because she's not gonna be around for long.
The Measure
A new French messaging service always all us sinners to just call up, confess, and move on.
by Jonny Diamond
Tags: News , sins , confession , the confessional , France , Atone Phone , priests , bishops , Pecavi , I have Sind , expiation , eternal damnation , Hell , Heaven , there is no God , we are all sinners , love the sin
The Measure
Watch the hipster rap posterboy try and fail to get off his couch.
The Measure
Early details on plans for a post-Deitch Soho gallery.
The Measure
In other perfectly reasonable news, another group of Christians thinks gays are "yucky."
The Measure
If a new bill passes the state senate, it will be.
The Measure
That would be Delancey, or, as we don't like to call it, "Deathlancey."
The Measure
Holy shit a bank three blocks from our offices got robbed this afternoon! What's next, the great F-train robbery?
The Measure
Getting to Austin for SXSW ain't cheap, so Cake Shop's hosting a show to help out a few good bands. You should go, even though buying a ticket probably isn't tax deductible.
The Measure
I'm just an idealist who doesn't realize that having faith in our institutions is a luxury enjoyed by those of us who don't have to make steely-eyed pragmatic decisions about government though, obvs.
The Measure
When will these girls realize they shouldn't sing Kelly Clarkson songs?
The Measure
The centerpiece of her MoMA retrospective, The Artist Is Present , will be the jewel in your home video collection.
Northside Festival News
Oh hey, it's our giant music festival. Again.
Album Reviews
Dear God, I Hate Myself is not only Xiu Xiu's band's best-named record to date, it's also their most approachable.
Album Reviews
The Swedish band experiments with more interesting textures and varied tempos, but they're still a pop band, and proud of it.
Features
We look at songs by Orianthi, T-Pain and Timbaland, only one of which is even remotely listenable.
by Mike Conklin and Benjamin Sutton
Tags: Features , Music , Pop Scene , T-Pain , Timbaland , Orianthi , Michael Jackson , Katy Perry , Young Jeezy , Black Eyed Peas , Reverse Cowgirl , autotune , will.i.am , This Is It
Film Reviews
Hits (and misses) from the International Film Festival Rotterdam crash to Brooklyn for a week.
Film Reviews
A MoMA retro retraces the evolution of the Chinese director now knocking on the 21st century canon's door.
Film Reviews
A filmmaker's descendents consider his legacy in Harlan-In the Shadow of Jew Suss .
Film Reviews
Reliable cliches, fine acting and local color elevate Brooklyn's Finest .
Film Reviews
... and with Alice in Wonderland , he can build the garish 3-D gothscape of his dreams.
Film Reviews
A recent biography and new Film Forum series spotlight the life and work of Victor Fleming, consummate Hollywood man.
Film Reviews
Surprise Oscar nominee The Secret of Kells is a lovely, handmade animation with lots on its mind.
Film Reviews
Paul Greengrass and Matt Damon's Green Zone is an essential thriller... if you can't remember anything that's happened in the last seven years.
Film Reviews
Bong Joon-ho's quirky neo-noir Mother tracks an unlikely detective's ruthless investigation.
Film Reviews
Local indie The Exploding Girl is its own worst enemy.
Film Reviews
Hateful "romantic" "comedy" She's Out of My League is really asking for it.
Film Reviews
Ponzi-themed family drama Children of Invention hooks its take on the zeitgeist to a couple of vulnerable moppets.
Film Reviews
The latest war doc, Severe Clear , does a good job telling us things we already knew.
Film Reviews
Full of potential, Remember Me will instead be remembered as an offensive disaster.
Tips for Tips
Ours is Lucky Dog, in Williamsburg, but you probably knew that already.
The performance art pioneer watches over her MoMA retrospective.
The South African artist's mid-career MoMA retrospective shape-shifts from animation up to recent opera productions.
by Benjamin Sutton
Tags: General , Art , William Kentridge , Animation , Opera , South Africa , Apartheid , The Nose , Museum of Modern Art (MoMA) , Gogol , The Magic Flute , Dmitri Shostakovich
Theater Reviews
The New Group's revival of Sam Shepard's A Lie of the Mind , directed by Ethan Hawke, is a dissonant collage of fractured psyches.
Theater Reviews
Tallulah Bankhead's life and lays are fodder for endless and, in the end, too many laughs in Looped .
Theater Reviews
The South African artist's version of Shostakovich's The Nose at the Met nearly constitutes a whole new medium.
Theater Reviews
The premiere of Jonathan Reynolds' Girls in Trouble at the Flea falters in the third trimester.
Theater Reviews
Hot British actors sublimate their urges in The Pride .
Wandering in the desert. That's all we're really doing.
Play philosophical fiction with an atheist-humanist moral? SIGN US UP.
Talking with Elif Batuman, author of the very funny The Possessed: Adventures with Russian Books and the People Who Read Them , about literature, academia, and whether the twain shall meet.
Fashionville
A blizzard. The awful death of Alexander McQueen. Fashion Week stops for nothing.
Sex With the Natural Redhead
So, oral sex and condoms? Really? Also, when is the last time you saw a dental dam?
The Conscientious Objector
It's time we put an end to zoos.
Art Fag City
One of the best biennials in years has plenty of great stuff for everyone... And somehow it all fits.
Sex With the Natural Redhead
In which many exciting facts about sex and the Animal Kingdom are revealed.
General
These are the bars we love. And boy do we love them.
Features
Our Crystal Gwyn turned her lens on "girls who like girls who like girls who look like boys."
