It is very impressive, we suppose, that a person is secure enough in her employment and plans for the future that she can give 22 months' notice. I, too, had considered announcing that I would leave The Measure in September of 2011, to move to Copenhagen and pursue my long-term professional goal of living on government assistance while biking around drunk on Aquavit all day, but it'd be pretty presumptuous of me to expect there'd even still be a Measure in September of 2011, and not just an iPhone app that transmits Mike Conklin's withering dissections of indie-rock dinosaurs directly into your prefrontal cortex in bursts of 12 phonemes or less.

Dinner Table Discussions will begin sometime next year, and feature the three moms' takes on current events, interviews and responses to viewer-submitted issues and concerns. The only way I would ever watch this show would be if it turned out that all the "submissions" were actually problems their sons needed help with. There would be the "What do I do if I'm convicted on a gun charge and going to jail for a year?" episode, or the "Someone more powerful than me thinks that my favorite gimmick is corny, do I confront him?" episode. That I would watch.

Yesterday, Variety posted an article on the pretty significant impact Winfrey has on the music industry. Basically it boils down to this: If Oprah can convince a whole bunch of people to spend their summer reading three Faulkner novels like she did back in 2005, she can help Michael Buble sell 132,000 albums in three days like he did in October. Hell, Warner Brothers actually pushed up the release date of Buble’s album to correspond with his appearance on Oprah. And if propelling Michael Buble to number one on the Billboard charts wasn’t enough to convince you, sales for Whitney Houston’s comeback album “I Look To You” jumped 77% after she was on the show, and Filipina pop singer Charice sold 60,000 singles after an appearance in September. I mean for the love of God, Journey was on her show in October, and their latest album—which (a) has been out for a year already and (b), holy shit, did you know Journey released a new album?—moved 10,000 copies the following week. In fact, according to Billboard’s “Maximum Exposure,” Oprah is now the second best way an artist can get their music out to the public, the first being an Apple commercial.

I'm pretty sure I need a hug right about now.]]> [ Subscribe to the comments on this story ]

Some people cite a disproportionate number of male applicants for the jobs, while another points out that this isn't likely to change as long as the majority of the hosts, whose sensibilities writers are trying to match, are men, a theory bolstered by the fact that t five of the ten writers for Chelea Lately are women. But then again, you really mean to tell me any old moron, male or female, isn't capable of churning out the kind of jokes Jay Leno uses on your grandparents every night?

Carrie Prejean, the hateful former Miss America contestant who thinks gay people shouldn't be allowed to get married and that they'll probably burn in hell for all of eternity, was on Larry King last night to promote her new book, which she has named Still Standing in hopes of calming the nerves of anyone who thought she may have been knocked down for good after falling victim to such horrible crimes as not winning a fucking beauty pageant. Anyway, she gets pissed at Larry for asking a perfectly reasonable question, then does that thing that really stupid people do where she just keeps repeating the same phrase over and over again, in this case, "Larry, you're being inappropriate." [Videogum]

This video will probably be taken down in about three minutes, so enjoy it while you can. It starts off dumb, then gets a little better, then gets awesome. Then the rest of the show was mega shitty, except for a skit at the very end, featuring Fred Armisen as Randy Newman and T-Swift as Shakira.

Oh, here's that one too...

Seriously, you're not actually gonna go out on Saturday night, are you? What? Oh yeah, I totally am too... I was just kidding.

A while back I mentioned that N.E.R.D. had auditioned and selected a fourth member for the group, a female vocalist named Rhea who, you know, can actually sing on key. Well, they premiered the young lady and the new track "Radio (WTF)" off their forthcoming record Instant Gratification (dropping sometime in 2010) during an appearance on a recent episode of 90210. The one-minute snippet of song starts off pretty slow and boring then ratchets up to an enjoyable mix of rock and call-and-response hip-hop. The performance is interspersed with what are surely deeply meaningful and implication-laden glances between annoying-looking 90210 characters who don't seem to know what to make of N.E.R.D., which is as it should be. WTF indeed.

Oh, and the fact that Betty discovered Don's secret drawer of evidence and he had to come clean about the whole stealing a dead man's identity thing. Also, Joan hit Dr. Asshat in the head with a vase, so he joined the army. Would it be too crass of me to say I hope he goes to Vietnam and dies? In light of last night's long awaited episode focusing on the JFK Assassination, yes, it probably is.

So, like, I'm definitely not the only one who looks forward to seeing what Matt Lauer and the rest of the Today Show cast is going to dress as for Halloween, right? Yeah, I didn't think so. This year? Star Wars characters! You really have to watch the whole clip. It's long, but it just gets better and better, or at least more and more awkward, as it goes on, culminating with Meredith Vieira telling an Ewok not to grab her ass. Other highlights include Hoda doing a Yoda voice, Kathie Lee doing a C-3PO voice, and Al Roker not being dressed as Lando Calrissian.

Still, if you ever wondered how to make Coolio's Fork Steak (a chunk of beef so tender, he claimed you could cut it with a fork), or his Westside Tilapia, a new book will make the whole process much clearer. Cookin' With Coolio: 5 Star Meals at a 1 Star Price by "Coolio the Ghetto Gourmet" hits bookshelves on November 17 and will feature those recipes and more, as well as additional content, like a chapter entitled "How to Become a Kitchen Pimp" and another devoted to cooking "Pasta Like a Rasta," which is something I've been attempting for years with only limited success.

Does this make you like him more or her less? Discuss. (Perhaps worth noting: while trying to type the word discuss a second ago, I actually typed the word disgusting.)

[Zimbio]

The relatively bare-bones staging of the serial—for which all the actors are donating their time and the $18 admission is very affordable given the talent assembled—makes you wonder what the writers want to do with this series. Could this be a way of audience testing a new show, the beginnings of a years-long live soap, or just some friends trying out a new format for the fun and challenge of it?

The best part of last night's episode of The Office (which was refreshingly free of the honeymooning Jim and Pam, by the way) involved Kevin trying to explain to Oscsar, who's gay, why they would have very different experiences were they to be put in jail. Someone should tell young hollywood types that this is how you write jokes about homosexuality—where the stupid person winds up looking stupid, and not like someone to be envied by a bunch of hateful frat boys.

According to ArtsBeat, the suit goes on sale next Monday (October 19) and is available until November 8th (air date of the season 3 finale!), so for those of you who are planning to dress up as Don and Betty for Halloween (and have a generous budget, as the suit will run you about a grand) you're in luck! Unfortunately, there's still no word on when the Trudy Campbell Hat Line or Salvatore Romano Tie Collection will hit shelves.

But first, the plot: Conrad Hilton has taken to calling Don in the middle of the night, waking the entire Draper clan and sending Don to the office at 5am. I can't wait to be an eccentric millionaire. As Don heads to work he spots Miss Farrel jogging (I didn't mention it in that week's recap, but it did come up in that episode how she's an early morning jogger) and is all about giving her a ride, in more ways than one. Miss Farrel acts all coy, so he just drives up to the house where she's renting an apartment. This will be important later.

(Design You Trust)

Anyway! Entertainment Weekly's Michael Aussiello is reporting that on the November 9th episode of Gossip Girl, there will be a threesome involving "three major characters." He's been sworn to secrecy about the participants, but he's listed nine possible combinations, one of which is the real deal. My guess is Serena, Carter and Georgina (Serena's drunk, it's dark, and she doesn't realize it was Georgina until the next morning), but it will probably be something much dumber, as these things always are.

Still, we (I) noted with interest that lawyer and Harper's magazine torture blogger Scott Horton is all up on Law & Order producer René Balcer, interviewing him about the premiere episode of the show's twentieth season, which apparently addressed about Bush-era detention and interrogation policies, with a great deal of ripped-from-the-headlines savvy. (We were also happy to see that Sam Waterston is still on the show, just cold bein' gruff and world-weary and cagey in matters of criminal law.) It's actually a pretty fascinating conversation about torture and accountability, because the whole point of the show is to made complex legal and moral issues explicable, and dramatic, for the lay viewer.

When I am middle-aged, and sitting around the house during the daytime, probably wearing an undershirt tucked into a pair of dirty white briefs, watching Law & Order reruns, and this episode comes on, I will watch it with interest and remember this Q&A, assuming of course that we will still have TNT in the Future.

It's late August, it's hot, and everyone is on vacation. That is, except for Pete who is stuck at home, and Betty, who is campaigning for her reservoir project while Don travels the country visiting Hilton hotels at Connie's behest. His people call Don at home to tell him his latest destination is Rome, and Betty—still reeling from her reservoir victory and celebratory kiss with Creepy Belly Feeler—decides she wants to come along. Betty really takes the old "When in Rome..." adage to heart, showing off her fluency in Italian and getting herself all dolled up in the latest Italian fashions. She and Don do a little stranger role-play, have a bunch of sex, and seem like they actually like each other for at least a little bit. Then Betty comes home and hates everything again.

Click here for the free stream of the South Park movie. (Underwire)