Page 2 of 2At 10pm I was tidying up the sales floor when another woman — ten pounds of sugar in a five-pound sack — strolled in wearing white daisy dukes and a blouse with only the last button buttoned. Her bra kept shifting to expose her areolas.
She was obviously drunk and demanded a discount on a vibrator, which we refused her, so she started scooting around the store, opening up packages and generally creating havoc. When a man in a head wrap (!) and toga (!!) came in to ask if we had cock-shaped lollipops (we do) the woman — who it took me way too long to realize was a prostitute — accosted him. She grabbed his arm and told him he was handsome (this was a LIE) but he shook her off and said, "Uh uh, honey. I'm strictly frankfurter.”
Again she asked for a discount and again we refused her, so she decided to steal the display version of the vibrator she wanted. She was a terribly obvious thief, but I didn’t call her on it, because as I’ve already said, the displays are filthy. I wanted her to take it, use it and get crotch rot from it.
She was partially obscured when she was stealing the display and I spent the rest of the night trying to figure out where on her person she had it hidden when she walked out the door.