Listen up, everybody. I come to you with bad news: Brooklyn Social might be forced to close down. I assume that everyone with a heart and access to the F train loves this bar as much as I do. I was there recently, enjoying a cocktail, when a man with a clipboard approached. At first I thought he was one of those creepy marketing guys who gives you a pack of cigarettes in return for a survey and a piece of your soul, but actually he was collecting signatures in support of the bar. According to the bartender, neighbors unhappy with the noise are claiming that the transition from private social club to bar violates some aspect of the lease (he was busy, and thus light on the facts). A look at the Department of Buildings filings, though, revealed that 335 Smith was cited for “occupancy contrary to that allowed by Building Department records.” The remedy, worryingly, is “discontinue illegal use.” Those of you paying attention will remember another recent clash between Cobble Hill residents and bar owners. This summer, some of the Smith Street restaurants with garden seating —Robin des Bois was the one I was able to find DOB filings for — were slapped with similar citations. According to a Times article, though outdoor seating was never in the establishments’ certificates of occupancy, nobody minded until noise complaints got the community board involved. Now, I get that nobody wants to live next to a loud bar. I’ve done it and it sucks. Fundamentally, the problem is that drunk people are assholes, and bars produce large amounts of drunk people during the hours when non-drunk people and babies like to sleep. At the same time, a community board bitchfest isn’t the solution here. Let’s take a lesson from the East Village on that one. Neighbors: fun bars and good restaurants are part of what makes your neighborhood great —many of you moved to be near them. I understand that there are residents who pre-date the Smith Street gentrification, but I imagine even they like a little brunch at the Sherwood Forest. Bar owners: control your patrons. You can shut them up if you try. I promise. And fellow bar denizens: quit being such drunk assholes. This is why we can’t have nice things. Ok? Good. Now let’s get this thing worked out before my favorite bar gets shut down.