"Brr... Sure is Cold in Here!"
by Audrey Ference
Dear Audrey,
I'm a grower not a shower, like for real. My dick expands to more than twice its limp size. So even though I'm well in the range of average when I'm hard, I look tiny. It makes me feel awkward in locker rooms and I don't even really like being naked with women I'm having sex with unless I'm hard. How do I get over it?
You could get a "grower not shower" tattoo on your lower abdomen, so all the guys checking out your dick in the locker room know what's up? Although when I see that phrase I read it as shower, like the thing you do to get clean, so maybe that would just confuse matters.
I think there are several concepts you can think more about that will help you to feel better about your penis. The first is: why do you care what other men think about your dick? If you don't have sex with men, it really doesn't matter what other dudes think you are rocking. I guess maybe some guys make fun of each other's dicks? I don't know because I don't really get invited into the men's locker room. But fuck those guys, anyway. Are you honestly going to credit the opinion of some doofus who is talking about everyone's wiener?
Because also, lots of men do have small dicks. What, are they supposed to go around feeling eternally ashamed? Oh heaven forbid someone mistake you for a guy who actually has a small penis. There are upsides and downsides to every penis size, and I have met many small-dicked dudes who are excellent at sex. Everybody just needs to fucking relax about the size of their penises, I swear.
Anyway, I think the way you get over it is to just practice not giving a fuck about what other people think, and being happy that you enjoy sex and pleasure your partners. I can't imagine any woman who just had great sex with you is going to look over and be like, "Ew, he just fucked me with that?!" If she does she's a jerk and the easy solution there is don't have sex with jerks.
Dear Audrey,
I'm a girl and I've been dating this guy for a few months. It was going really well until we had the "how many people have you had sex with" conversation. When he found out how inexperienced I am he said we could never get serious, because everyone should experience a bunch of people before they settle down. He especially says I should experience casual sex/one-night stands before I decide to be with someone as a boyfriend. Do you think this is true? What am I missing?
A lot of awkward hangovers? I mean, I don't know. I can kind of see his point—it does make sense to have lots of different sexual experiences before deciding to be committed and monogamous, but also it's not like you are asking the guy to marry you. Plus things happen the way they happen. Some people fuck a million guys and still cheat on their spouses, and some marry the first guy they slept with and have happy marriages forever until they die.
I wouldn't run out and have a bunch of sex you don't want just to make this guy happy, but it also sounds like he's not interested in having a more serious relationship with you. Sorry.
Illustration Mike Force
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