Camp
by Benjamin DolsonPage 2 of 3
I tell Tyler to head up to the Cabins and that we’ll play catch later.
Mr. Garret blows his whistle and all the Fishers of Men get out of the water. We tell them there's a big storm on the Doppler, and to head over to the Gym for some dodge-ball.
We meet with Pastor Ron and determine to kick out the two Fishers of Men. Pastor Ron wonders if there isn't some way of prevention? "What about the account-a-buddy system?" he says.
Which, Mr. Garret explains, would be a major blunder as it would encourage further incidents via the pairing off. Then, Mr. Garret proposes that we form a committee to handle these special cases.
Pastor Ron agrees, and at Dinner each cabin elects a Dad to represent them.
That night, we have our first committee meeting while the others are at Chapel.
A group of Apostles is brought before us. They went hiking up the Mount without permission, and no one saw them for almost two hours. Now, they're playing dumb to the fact that they completely missed Quiet Time.
"We were just hiking," says one of the Apostles.
"Hiking for what reason?" Mr. Drake asks.
"Because, we like hiking," the Apostle says. "What's the big deal? It's not like we did anything wrong."
"Like what exactly?" Mr. Garret asks, like, implying.
"Like, I don't know, drugs?" the Apostle says.
And that just took the cake, him mocking us. Obviously, the Apostles are hiding something. When we search their packs we find several lewd comic books, a Zippo, an iPod loaded with secular music, and a deck of playing cards, which Mr. Drake pointed out, are used in games that encourage fornication.
We vote, unanimously, to send them home.
And I try to think: Had Tyler ever gone hiking with any of those Apostles? Just the thought of it.
As we're walking back to the Cabins, Mr. Garret suggests, for the sake of believability, we do some howling. So, we do some howling, and really get into it, each of us throwing in different howl-pitches and barks. Before we know it, we’ve been out there an hour, and are all parched and sort of panting by the time we get back to the Cabins.
The next morning at Breakfast I announce that Hiking has been closed due to another wolf sighting.
"A whole pack of wolves, actually," Mr. Garret adds. "Looks like they’re on the hunt," he says, and holds up a shovel with a ravaged-looking raccoon on the spade. Which, where did he even get that?
Later, that afternoon, Mr. Garret gets on the PA and calls an emergency meeting.
I hustle over to the Camp Fire Area, our designated emergency meeting spot. When I arrive I find the other Dads all looking with stricken faces at a tall sculpture.
"What is it?" I ask.
"What do you think?" Mr. Garret says.
I say, "It looks like a skyscraper."
"Ho boy, ho boy. No," Mr. Drake says, like laughing. Then he explains that one of the Disciples whittled the sculpture during Old Testament Arts & Crafts and that it's supposedly the Tower of Babel. "But obviously," Mr. Drake says, "there's a certain resemblance to—"
"To the male organ," Mr. Garret says and points out the bulbous head.
