‘Cise Doesn’t Matter 

  • Illustration by Colleen Schaffer

Dear Audrey, I’m a nice Jewish girl who has only been with circumcised men. I’m going to live abroad for a year and hopefully get busy with all manner of non-American men. I’m a little nervous because I have no idea what to do with an uncircumcised penis. Just what I would normally? Do I pull back the foreskin? Is it going to be gross under there? What’s the deal?

Congratulations on your world sex tour. It’s very considerate of you to educate yourself about foreign penis customs before your trip. (And they say Americans are provincial!) It’s my understanding that penises are much like vaginas in that they are generally attached to humans whose sexual preferences vary. There’s no hard-and-fast foreskin rubric that, if you don’t follow it, will make you look like some dumb tourist. But in general, the under-foreskin penis tip is very sensitive. Think of it like a clitoris. Sensitive means that it is nice to have it stimulated, sure, but you don’t just go barging in, scraping at it with dry fingers, if that makes sense.

I’m talking blowjobs and handjobs here. P-in-V sex shouldn’t really be affected much by the presence of a foreskin, especially since you will (I hope!) be using condoms to fuck random dudes. Some people will like you to pull back the skin gently before beginning a BJ; for others that’s too much too soon—they’d prefer a more gradual unveiling of the dickhead, much like how some clit owners are perfectly happy with a jackhammer-level vibe from the get-go while others need to be warmed up before you even go near there. I think with a handie you can in general just leave it be. As with anything, the best way to find out an individual’s particular preference is to give them room to let you know what it is.

Not that you need to like gesture at the skin bit, smirk, and say, “What the fuck am I supposed to do with this???” But more like how everything in sex is a sort of negotiation, and if you’re good at having sex with people, you will spend your time with them being very sensitive to their cues and reactions, verbal and non. To be honest, though, I bet most guys would consider educating the hot American Jewess in the ways of uncut dicks a pretty compelling scenario, so you can probably do just as well letting your ignorance be part of the proceedings. If you do it right, not-knowing things can be as sexy as knowing things really well.

To your final question: will it be gross? It could be, but no more or less than all sex parts can be gross if they aren’t properly cleaned. I would hope that any adult in possession of an uncircumcised penis would know how to care for it—that they’d have that shit all taken care of before wooing anybody. I think because so many American guys are circumcised, there’s this idea that the foreskin is, like, this big Thing that has to be Dealt With, but really it’s just another chunk of dick, and it operates on basically the same principles as dicks. Perhaps for you it’s particularly interesting in a traif kind of way—but that’s between you and your G-d.


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