Coming Clean About Shower Sex
by Audrey FerenceMy boyfriend and I often shower together, which often leads to shower sex. Or I should say, wanting to have shower sex. Unfortunately, I'm too short/he's too tall to really make it work. I get calf cramps trying to stand up on my toes enough for him to do it from behind, or else his quads get tired from squatting down. Kneeling is slippery and painful. We rent our apartment so I can't really put in anything permanent like those handles or anything. Any thoughts?
Shower sex is a love-it-or-hate-it kind of sex. On the plus side, it's all wet and steamy and you get to fuck someone who is all clean while also coming out clean afterward. Best of both worlds in the shower before or shower after debate. It's also like super convenient because you're already naked and soaping someone up is both foreplay and good hygiene. On the minus side, all that stuff you mentioned about positioning, plus water hitting your face weird, the out-of-the-shower-spray parts of your body getting cold and, depending on whose shower you're fucking in, it could be really nasty and mildewy in spots. Also, water seems like it should be great lube but actually isn't—there can be a painful kind of squeakiness to doing it in water. However you come down on shower sex conceptually, though, it seems inevitable that at some point you will want to have it. Especially for couples who live together, the temptation to go bug your partner while they're all wet and naked is too great. For anyone with a height difference of more than a few inches, the wet, slippery, not-designed-for-gripping inside of a shower will be a problem. I suppose you could just stop the drain and convert your shower temporarily into a bath. The tub full of warm water will make any of the kneeling or lying down positions less painful/slippery/dangerous, but it will kind of ruin the spontaneity of just hopping in the shower and getting busy. Plus, I know this is a me problem and not a universally recognized thing, but I am kind of grossed out by stewing in a soup of one's own wash water, with all the dirt runoff and soap scum and residue from the previous person's shower or bath.Ick, not a bath fan. If you are willing to invest in a product specifically for this purpose, I have seen on the internet these suction cup handle thingies that are designed to be stuck to walls or surfaces to provide a place to anchor your grip while boning. I have not personally tried them but they are not terribly expensive, and could be repurposed for all different kinds of extra-bed sexual encounters. Gotta make sure your sex toys are multitaskers. The cheapest option might be just to hit up Duane Reade or wherever and look in the section with the accessibility aids of various types. It seems like just a little step stool with non-slip feet should do the trick. I doubt that would be too hard to find, though please test it out first and make sure it's not going to slip at a crucial moment. Scummy soap water sex is better than cracking your head open against the tub for sure. As far as what to tell people when they see your little shower step stool hanging out in the bathroom, that's up to you.
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