The Consumption Diaries: Do Rockstars Really Die Young? 

To burn brightly for a brief, incandescent moment (before falling from the sky) is a glorious rock and roll cliché : it is better, after all, to be a Cobain or a Curtis, rather than a Reed or a Jagger. Or is it? We're pretty sure the majority of intense young musicians—even the hyper-romantic, high-drama ones—wouldn't mind seeing their thirtieth birthday. So, in the interests of science, we asked three local rock and rollists to submit a consumption diary of a single weekend; we then asked certified holistic health coach Maryrose Mondiello ( to take a look at these diaries and weigh in the long-term health prospects of the subjects. Here's what she found...

rockstar consumption diary a




10am I get up and make eggs. I love going out to brunch with friends, watching the people being bleary over coffee and piles of bacon, but I make way better eggs at home for a thousand times less money. This morning I scramble them and lay them on some spinach and toast.

+ eggs are an excellent source of protein and a wonderful breakfast food. a breakfast high in protein ensures that you won't get hungry for a few hours. it's a great way to start the day.
[+2 years]

11am We have a Keepaway business meeting, so I get together with the boys at the coffee shop. I drink tea. Mike and Frank drink coffee. Mike eats a big cinnamon bun that's all crusty with white icing. I have a bite. We have a lot to talk about because we just raised a ton of money to make our next record. Coffee is a good thing to consume when you're getting into your ideas. I know this even though I'm drinking tea right now (they say Voltaire drank 70 cups of coffee a day).

+ tea is good for you—very soothing in these cold months. coffee is also good, in moderation. caffeine is a stimulant useful when times call for heightened awareness and creativity, but bothersome when relaxation is needed.
[in moderation, +1 year]

- cinnamon buns can be left behind: it is best to outright avoid refined sugar and flour. then again, you only live once, so remember to enjoy every delicious bite of your life.
[-3 years]

2pm I drink some water and lie down for a while.

+ it is recommended to drink half your weight in ounces of water per day (e.g. a 180-lb man should drink 90 ounces of water per day). much of that water can be obtained from fresh fruits and vegetables.
[+1 year]

3:30pm I have to go to work. I work at Eat, the restaurant in Greenpoint. Some people get vibed out by this place because there's no music, the walls are white, and the food is all meat-free and so local it's practically grown in your mouth. It's an amazing restaurant.

+ some people thrive on a vegan diet, but it may not be for everyone (it's a good healing diet for those with heart disease). i agree with michael pollan: "eat food. not too much. mostly plants."
[+1 year]

6pm Tonight I'm making spelt flour pasta with acorn squash, beets, black radish, and broccoli, plus rutabaga soup and a kale and daikon salad. People come in and get weird because they need some low-level Sufjan and a pile of bacon. I mean, that's cool—all I know is I'm back here scarfing radish nubbins and fondling kale, and when I finally make a plate for myself, I roll out some extra thick pasta and I consume it hard because it is good.

+ it is important to eat along with the seasons. eating root vegetables and squash during the winter months has a very soothing, grounding effect, especially in soups. kale and broccoli are part of the cruciferous family and are high in vitamin c (broccoli), vitamin a (kale), fiber and phytochemicals that help reduce the risk of cancer and inflammation in the body. spelt flour pasta is a delicious alternative to semolina (wheat) pasta for those who have gluten sensitivities.
[+3 years]

10pm Headed home. I'm pretty sure readers want to consume stories of excessive consumption. I consider my role therein.

10:30pm I consume a shower. I consume some pre-game green tea. I call my friend to make sure her birthday party is still tonight. It is.

11:30pm You know, pretty much the only reason I go to parties is the hope that I will meet Her. It doesn't appear that She is here tonight. I drink some beer.

+ beer has many vitamins and minerals including magnesium, selenium, folate and vitamin b6. there are studies that show that drinking one glass of an alcoholic beverage per day decreases the risk of heart attacks and cognitive decline. just don't overdo it!
[in moderation, +1 year]

11:40pm Still no sign of Her. Or anyone like Her. I drink some more beer.

11:55pm I'm talking to the birthday girl. She's standing in front of a window so I can see my reflection behind her as I consume more beer. Sometimes looking in the mirror with beer goggles on is a good way to feel cool at a party.


12:30am The night is young. Someone arrives with more beer. I hide some behind the milk in the fridge in case She shows up and I want to impress Her with my secret beer stash.

[excessive alcohol consumption, -4 years]

12:50am Someone drank Her beer! Now She almost definitely won't show up.

1:45am I'm sitting in an easy chair, thinking again about how Voltaire's urine must've been orange. I get up and I take the milk out of the fridge and pour it all over the birthday girl. She says, "What the fuck are you doing Nick that's not funny," and I'm like, "Well it is to me because I just blasted a mountain of molly and downed a full bag of goofballs and almost ate all my money and now all I want to do is smoke weed and watch you in milk."

- drugs are generally pretty bad for you, especially when consumed in combination.
[-10 years]

11am Another morning, another breakfast of eggs.

the verdict:
while nick eats very well, excessive consumption of both alcohol and drugs can only have a negative effect in the long term. based on our analysis, nick is taking eight years off his life.


Subscribe to this thread:

Add a comment

Latest in Features

© 2014 The L Magazine
Website powered by Foundation