Sometimes, pumpkin-spice margarita-tinis, green apple zima slushees, or flaming shots of Jäger just don’t cut it. Maybe you want to avoid getting carded. Maybe you don’t want diabetes and cirrhosis. Or maybe you just don’t get off on sugar like you used to. Whatever the reason, it’s time to have a real drink. The kind where you can taste the alcohol. The kind your grandfather gave you a sip of, teaching you that it’s possible to choke and vomit at the same time. Try a few of these expertly-crafted classics and you’ll learn why people drink them. The other reason people drink them? They’re fucking delicious.