Fashion Week Recap 

How to Bitch About the Week in the Tents Like a Pro

Not everyone’s lucky enough to get a ticket to a fashion show. Even if you are lucky enough to get past the PR banshees guarding the velvet ropes, you might not even know enough to walk away with any sense of what you’ve witnessed. You might mistake Andre Leon Tally for a cape-wearing giant, or the Olsen twins for two hobbits. You might half-expect Gandalf to come drifting down the runway at the rate you’re going. So why don’t you just stay home — it’s safer. Here are the moments everyone will be lollygagging over, so you can just tell all the pretty people at The Box you were there, even if you and I both know you were at home, catching up on back issues of McSweeney’s.

Paris Hilton went to the VMA’s instead of her sister Nicky’s ‘Nicholai’ fashion show.
But really, wouldn’t you?

Alexandra Facchinetti will succeed Valentino when he retires.
The announcement that Facchinetti — previously known for her lackluster Gucci collections — would succeed one of the most seminal figures in fashion had everyone buzzing. Had the Valentino Fashion Group actually forced the designer out, or had he really timed this himself? How will Facchinetti fare? Only future seasons will tell…

Carolina Herrera banned The Times’ Cathy Horyn from her runway show…
For the third consecutive season, Horyn didn’t get an invitation in retaliation for her calling Herrera’s collection “irrelevant” back in 2006. Nobody messes with Carolina!

…and Horyn shafted Gwen Stefani’s L.A.M.B. show.
In the “oh snap” heard ‘round New York, Horyn wrote the following on her Runway Blog: “If ever there was a reason for a pop star to concentrate on her vocal skills, it was Gwen Stefani’s fashion meltdown. Among the words I wrote in my notebook, until my pen came to a stop, were ‘blob,’ ‘very last season,’ ‘bad secretary,’ ‘astonishingly bad,’ and ‘Ditzville.’” Ba-zing!

Marc Jacobs reinvents sexuality… or doesn’t.
Without a doubt, this is what will keep the industry buzzing until next season. After a two-hour wait, the Marc Jacobs show ran in reverse, and many of the pieces looked, well, unfinished, featuring scandalous cut-outs and uneven draping. Editors were quick to write wildly disagreeing reviews and complain about the wait, which sparked a rumor that Jacobs himself was having drinks at the Mercer with a pal, keeping everyone waiting. And then the designer had an uncharacteristically feisty interview with WWD wherein he seemed to threaten to start showing in Paris, at which point Diane von Furstenberg (head of the CFDA) apparently called and begged him to keep showing in New York. Phew. Personally, I thought the collection was flirty, forward-thinking, and immensely creative. But I can’t say I’ll wear a dress that shows my underpants… that just ain’t how I was raised.

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