1 Office Bathroom Windsprints
Keep a large bottle of water at your desk and pound it all day long. The dozens of roundtrips to the john and the water cooler will result in over two extra miles of walking over an eight-hour workday. (Keep track of your progress with a pedometer!)
2 The Two-Finger L Train Forearm Flexor
Board the L train at Union Square, around 5:30pm; shuffle to the center of the car, as far as possible from any hand-holds; reach over the heads of at least two people to a hand-hold, gripping it awkwardly with two to three fingers; hang on for dear life. When you reach Lorimer, get off, switch directions and use the other hand.
3 The Contemporary Art Cross Train
Wander around the MoMA, P.S.1 or any large gallery and do ten pushups between viewing each painting. You can alternate with sit-ups, squat thrusts, and jumping jacks (if you’re lazy.) If questioned by security, explain that you’re “part of an installation.” May work better in Williamsburg.
Make like a matador with yellow cabs at crosstown intersections. Work “close to the car,” in the old, elegant style — engage in none of the cheap, gutless fakery of the new cabadors. If you are gored by a rearview mirror, be a man. Don’t cry. Get up. In the rain. Await the next charging cab with dignity.
5 The G-Train Sprint
Stand at the top of any G train stop (Greenpoint Ave is highly recommended); wait until you hear the sound of an approaching train; run as fast as you can. As the trains are usually only four cars long, this activity is a good source of anaerobic exercise.