Older people will tell you to shut up and enjoy your youth, but at times, your mid-twenties will totally blow. Sure, you're the skinniest and the healthiest and the most popular that you're likely ever going to be, but what about the professional and emotional insecurity, the alienation and the crippling debt?
I can't tell you how to get rich, how to resolve your issues with your folks, or what you should do with the rest of your life, but I can tell you the answers to the four most common questions that twenty-somethings ask me.
At least you can be ahead of the curve when it comes to boning.
1. Is There An Easy Way To Improve My Sex Life?
Yes. Use lube. A lot of people in their mid-twenties seem to think that lube is only for old ladies with dry vaginas or anal, but the truth is that a water-based lube will also dramatically improve a handjob and a blowjob and a couple of drops in a condom will improve vaginal sex.
Try to find one that won’t dry out too quickly, won’t make too much of a mess on your sheets, tastes ok (or like nothing at all). If you’re prone to yeast infections get one that doesn't contain glycerin. Sliquid is a pretty good brand. As far as anything else goes (like consistency) it’s a matter of personal preference, so experiment.
Also, ladies, buy yourself a small-but-strong clitoral vibrator (like a pocket rocket) to experiment with during sex. If you believe that your partner will be intimidated by it (a concern I hear way too often) then you should know that it’s extremely likely the dudes you date are unimaginative, selfish and crappy in bed.
And finally, here's a quick tip from our Assistant Manager Brandon B: Try cupping your palm when you’re spanking your partner. It's kind of crazy that such a small thing makes such a big difference, but it really does.
2. How is this Condom Different From That One?
What is this, the Princess and the Pea? Twentysomething customers, stop asking me if I can feel the bumps or ridges on a condom — I can't and doubt I ever will. If you’re the one who is doing the penetratin’, concern yourself more with how it feels on you.
The condoms that I get the best feedback on are Crown (because they’re cheap and thin) Trojan Ultra Thin and Kimono Micro Thin (which are a bit smaller then average and offer a snug fit).
3. How Do I Find The G-Spot?
The G-spot is on the front wall of the vagina. In my opinion, the easiest way to hit it is by lying flush on your belly and having your partner penetrate you from behind like this (NSFW, duh).
But you know, there's a good chance that you or your partner won't like it as much as you think you will. G-spot orgasm makes me feel like I’m going to pee the bed and they're also far less intense than clitoral orgasms: It’s like sitting down to a meal when you’re starving and only being served an appetizer. It only makes you hungrier for the main course.
Anal actually deserves its own post, because it's been my experience that people are truly confounded by their own butt holes. I might do one with Brandon B. at some later date.
But in short, yeah, do it, it’s not a big deal. Keep in mind that you should never feel any sharp pain and that it'll feel weird at first, like you’re pooping in reverse. Don’t use Anal-ese or any thing that contains Benzocaine on your butt hole — if you’re totally numb back there you'll be more likely to tear something.
Should you douche? Generally, gay guys find this to be an appalling no-brainer and are all, of course you should! But straight couples generally don’t prepare as much. For us it’s almost like half of the fun is in the fact that we’re playing Poop Russian Roulette.
Ha, ha. Poop Russian Roulette. Gross.
In which our dear redhead makes reference to the work of the esteemed Dr. Cockenstein.
Jun 3, 2009