Getting Drunk with Harry Potter

The Phenomenon
Waiting in line for the new Harry Potter
The Bars
The Cedar Tavern, Cousins II, Mehanata 416 B.C.

Fuck yeah, muggles, it’s Half Blood Prince time! You know what that means, of course: waiting in line at 11:30 pm with a bunch of cranky house elves and their grumpy escorts as rage-filled minimum-wage bookstore employees pass out complimentary bookmarks. But it’ll all be totally worth it because by 5:47am on July 16 you will know the secrets that have gotten reporters shot at. It will KICK ASS. So as not to have your Potter buzz harshed man, you’ve got to get this one right — you can’t just go waltzing in to any old bookstore. You’ve got to pre-order your book, first of all, and you’ve got to have your pre-line bar all picked out. Trust me, you don’t want to get there without a little alcohol in your system. Alcohol is what separates us from the animals, who in this case will be up way past their usual bedtimes. So as a public service, I’ve prepared for you what promise to be three of the best book-buying combos, butter beer jokes not included:

Books of Wonder (18th and Fifth) plus the Cedar Tavern (11th and University): Ok, two words to recommend Books of Wonder: live owls. Really. This place is not kidding about the Potter party, so be prepared for adults in SciFiCon-quality costumes. The Cedar can assist in your preparations, being both close and relatively quiet. Plus they don’t seem to be weirded out by groups of people all reading silently, so after-parties work too.

Book Court (Court and Amity) plus Cousins II (Amity & Court): So Cousins II is not the most glamorous bar, I admit. It is, however, cheap. Also, it’s close enough to the Book Court that you can just look out the window to survey the line. In fact, if you bring along a friend who’s a total sucker, you can probably use your mind control to make them hold your spot while you drink. Awesome!

Scholastic Store (Broadway and Prince) plus Mehanata 416 B.C. (Broadway and Canal):
Honestly, I suspect Scholastic is going to be pretty bratted up. They’ve been doing little Advent calendar make-your-own-snitch-type events for weeks, which I imagine gets the kiddies hyped. On the other hand, though, you have to ask yourself who’s worse: screeching, exhausted yuppie spawn or hirsute, tubby Dumbledores with gleams of wild anticipation in their eyes? The choice is yours, my friend.


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