I like to go to bars. I like to sit, enjoy an adult beverage, and chitchat with my friends. That’s all I ask for in a bar. In fact, I usually insist that the bar stop there. I’m grumpy and find bar games to be a boring interruption to an otherwise pleasant conversation. But after being dragged to enough of these things by determinedly quirky friends (“I don’t go to bars to drink, I go to bars to SPELL!”) I’ve developed a soft spot. So if you absolutely cannot listen to your friend talk about That One Dude At Work anymore, here are some options:
QUIZZY THINGS The Slipper Room (Orchard and Rivington) has the Big Quiz Thing on Mondays. There’s a cover, but the prize is actual money instead of a free pitcher or something. It’s just like regular quiz-o except Noah Tarnow, the guy who runs it, is an evil trivia genius. I got exactly zero questions right at this fucker. Pete’s Candy Store (Lorimer and Frost) will service all of your overly precious Williamsburg needs. Quiz-o? Yes. Bingo? Yup. Scrabble night and a spelling bee? D’uh. I wouldn’t be surprised to find out they have a monthly indie-rock science fair.
SPORTY THINGS Floyd (Clinton and Atlantic) has an indoor bocce court. That’s pretty much all you need to know. The Bushwick Country Club (Grand and Leonard) allegedly has a putt-putt golf course out back. Now I’ll be honest — despite repeated recommendations, I haven’t made it out there (I don’t consider putt-putt a winter sport, even when drunk) but I’ve been assured that it is awesome. Plus the beer is cheap.
Ah karaoke. You either love karaoke or you detest it. Or you are drunk. Winnie’s (Bayard and White) is the obvious go-to. I don’t think it’s wise to get too creative in choosing karaoke bars, because there’s nothing sadder than karaokeing to an empty room. Arlene’s Grocery (Stanton and Ludlow) has the punk rock and heavy metal nights, but that shit fills up fast so you’ll likely have to fight some bitch in last year’s arm warmers for a turn. Hank’s (3rd and Atlantic) has a country karaoke night with a live band, though most of the singers there are actual good singers, not dipshits like us.
So go forth and entertain yourselves. There are eight million activity nights in this town: go find yours.