When I lost my virginity in high school, it was to a guy who had already had sex with someone else. Now I’m in my 20s and obviously the guys I’m sleeping with now haven’t been virgins for a long time. Lately I’ve been really hung up on this Mrs. Robinson-ish fantasy of meeting some virginal guy and giving him this mind-blowing first night of sex. I don’t know any virgins, and I don’t want to do anything illegal (under 18). How do I make this happen?
I can see your dilemma. It’s not like you can just advertise on Craigslist and expect not to get a deluge of cock shots—how to sort the actual virgins from the rest? No hymen to poke! And I would guess that most of the people on Adult Friend Finder or somesuch are not sexually inexperienced either. I mean, certainly there are men in their 20s (and 30s and 40s) who are virgins, for lots of different reasons, but I don’t know where a down-to-clown but of-age virgin guy would be looking for sex partners.
I assume there are at least a few 18-and-over guys in college who have their V cards, though I doubt they’d admit to it. So I guess you could hang around NYU bars and see what you can scoop up at 4 in the morning. But I would ask you to consider a few things. First: I think someone’s first time having sex is probably going to be kind of awkward and not that great, however wonderful you are. It just kind of takes a while to get the mechanics down. Lots of guys, especially with a person they don’t know, lose their boner the first time. Or just squirt after two seconds. I know that it’s not as conceptually sexy to be like “I want to give a guy a night at my pleasure palace for the 25th time he has sex,” but something like that might work out better for both of you.
Also? Virginity, in the way you are conceiving of it, is a very straight person idea. I mean, why is putting your penis into a vagina more important than into a mouth or a butt or anything else? I understand the cultural weight it has, but a large part of the sex-having world doesn’t work this way.
What I’m getting at is that you might have an easier time fulfilling your fantasy—because that’s what this is really about, right? Getting you off, not getting off some yet-to-be-determined virgin—if you were less literal about it. Like for example, I suspect the seduction you’re imagining would be much more fun as a role-play with a non-virgin. Or an ongoing series of encounters with a man that is maybe not actually a virgin, but just inexperienced for whatever reason. Or even just bad at sex and looking to improve.
I don’t mean to shoot down your fantasy—I totally get where you are coming from. I’m just wondering if you might be happier playing it out in a different way. And that would make your partner much easier to find as well: Craigslist or Adult Friend Finder would be a good place to find a guy interested in a night of older experienced bombshell showing a dude ingénue the sex ropes fantasy play.
If that doesn’t work for you, I guess there’s always Facebook?