I’m always looking for exciting new ways to label the people who enter my life, you know, put ‘em into a tiny, constricting box they’ll only escape upon death or, worse, moving back to whatever crappy town they came from. And the newest way for me to do that is by finding out which show the person in question chooses to attend on Thursday, January 26. So that you can play along, here’s my key to determining what kind of people you’re hanging out with and what exactly you should do with them.
MF Doom, at Nokia Theater Tickets are $33, so when this person tells you he can’t afford to buy you a beer, you should call him on it. You should also tell him there’s nothing wrong with liking exclusively indie rock. Continue hanging out, but be very cautious.
Steel Train, at Maxwell’s This person either lives in Hoboken and hangs out on Washington Street for fun or will listen to anything Drive Thru Records releases. Obviously, you two should stop hanging out immediately.
Broken Social Scene, at Webster Hall This one’s kind of complicated. He might just be as loyal to Pitchfork as that other dude was to Drive Thru Records, in which case you should react similarly. But he also may have read about the band in, like, Entertainment Weekly or something, which means he probably doesn’t know much, but is nice and willing to try new things. Take him under your wing, and play him all the B.S.S. side-projects he hasn’t heard yet.
Colin Meloy, at Town Hall This person is pensive, extremely self-conscious, possibly very pretentious and very well might at some point try using the word “pantaloons” in normal conversation. Have a glass of scotch with him and figure out if you can handle all his inevitable baggage.