When you take an island that spans merely 13.4 miles, then fill it with about two million people and almost as many drinking establishments, you’ve got to expect the occasional drunken tussle. These are a few of our favorites.
1. Johnny Depp vs. Babyland
When a drunk at the LES bar Babyland pulled out his man-stuff and told Jonny Depp to [we paraphrase] “Fellate me, please,” the bar’s biker patrons immediately started pounding on the guy with assorted baby items: cribs, toys, a rocking horse, etc., all of which served as decoration at the now-closed bar. Fortunately, old Jack Sparrow escaped before the cops showed up; it was a day after he was released from prison.
2. Whiny Punk vs. Brilliant Drunk
In November of 2002, Sum 41 frontman Derek Whibley was so in need of a good cry that he locked himself in the Lit bathroom and bawled like a baby. When, upon exiting, a dude whose hand we’d love to shake pointed and laughed at him, Whibley got mad, spit in his face and was escorted out by his tour manager. Pansy.
3. Charles Barkley vs. Idiot
We don’t know how dumb or drunk one has to be to think it’s a good idea to yell racial slurs at NBA all-star Charles Barkley, but that’s exactly what one guy did back in 1997, only moments before being thrown through a window by Sir Charles, himself.
4. Monica Lewinsky vs. Culural Critics
Monica Lewinsky encountered some hecklers at Joe’s Pub, and when another group of presumably single guys came to her defense, all hell broke loose.
5. Rebel vs. Yankee
A Confederate soldier died on the second floor of the Landmark on Twelfth Avenue after being stabbed in a bar fight. Old school.