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Dear Audrey,
I'm a man who has sex with men. I am definitely committed to safer sex practices, but I also really like cumming all over guys' chests and faces, and having guys cum on me. How risky is this? Am I stupid for thinking it's safe to have some dude squirt on my chest?

Look, nothing is 100 percent risk-free. You could be blowing a guy wearing a condom like a responsible person when a freak bus crashes through the wall of your apartment, killing you both. Or, you know, the condom could tear. Every sex act is a calculated risk. Semen can contain HIV and gonorrhea. If someone jizzes on your chest, and you have a tiny cut, HIV could conceivably get into the cut and infect you. Is it likely? No, it is not likely. Is it possible? Yes, it is possible.

Facials are riskier because HIV can be transmitted through the eye membranes. Again, is this probable? No. I'm not sure if there has been a case of semen-to-eye HIV transmission, but you never know. What level of risk you are willing to expose yourself to is completely up to you (and your partner). If you want to take all the fun out of it, deciding whether and how to fuck somebody is basically a cost-benefit analysis. Try thinking about that the next time you're trying to get a boner.

Dear Audrey,
When you are finger-fucking a girl, is it better to use more fingers? I know not to just jam my whole hand in, but women like guys with big dicks, generally, right? So should I be concentrating on working up to the most fingers I can fit, or what?

I'm glad you have not attempted the "just jam your whole hand up there" technique. Good instincts. I would say you should probably ask before trying out any sex move that uses the verb "to jam."

But uh, I don't know, I think different women like different things. Also, it depends on what your goal is. If you're finger-banging a lady to make her come, I would concentrate less on the number of fingers and more on the clit and using one or two fingers to find her g-spot in the back. It's sort of on the "ceiling" of the vulva and will feel ridged. It's like those highway things that are supposed to wake you up if your car is drifting off the road, but the opposite—drive your hand-car toward them! If your partner is very small and you are trying to get her to relax and be able to painlessly have your dick in her, then (slowly!) increase the number of fingers as she gets more aroused. But I can't imagine that you'd need more than two, three tops? Right? Otherwise that's some penis you've got there.

Some women really like to be filled up/stretched—there's a reason vaginal fisting is a thing. I would not assume this is the default, though. The more mass you have in there, the less maneuverability you get. I am guessing most women prefer an agile couple of fingers hitting all the right spots to a lumpen wad of hand squirming half-heartedly through the vaginal canal.

Pro tip: turn your palm up and use two or three fingers to stroke her G-spot while rubbing her clit with your thumb. Nature's Rabbit dildo!

Sex@TheLMagazine.com for questions or comments

Illustration by Mike Force


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