John Corbett 

John Corbett (Fun Bone Records)

As I looked at the cover of John Corbett’s debut country album, I couldn’t help but wonder: Is his crotch showing!? And what’s with the hair halo? Seriously, that picture is ridiculous. And guess who took it — his longtime girlfriend, Bo Derek! Yeah, I know. I used to think Aidan was awesome, too.

Corbett didn’t write the crap material on his debut CD, but he handpicked it, which is almost worse. Listening to this record is like being at a Podunk county fair, sitting through an insufferably earnest Allman Brothers coverband while you’re waiting for the pie-eating contest to start. Only here, you can’t simply pass the time with funnel cake. The worst offender is ‘Cash’, in which he sings about listening to the Man in Black after being fired by the  “bossman” at the local factory. (In a Bradshaw-esque play on words, he drawls, “I ain’t got a nickel to my name, but I’ve got lots of Cash.”) Carrie never should have gone to Paris with the Russian, and Corbett never should have made this album.

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