I can tell you this: I do know an expert in the field of wowsers, and that expert is me. Wowsers. Ok. Let's unpack this one, because despite a high number of creep red flags, I think you might actually have a question under there somewhere. I think we can all agree that "Shopping for an ersatz what?" is a question that we do not want the answer to.
So, first off, it's good that you don't like the word "she-male," because it's pretty much offensive. I think we went over this a few weeks ago. I suspect that you're looking for the word "transwoman." Reading the rest of your question, I felt certain that "Thai ladyboy" was not the preferred nomenclature either, but the internet tells me that some people do prefer kathoey (which is, I think, the Thai? For a third gender?) to transwoman. I completely respect a nonbinary conception of gender and also everyone's right to self-definition, but I can't say I'm feeling confident about saying "ladyboy." Wikipedia seems to think "kathoey" is also a slur. Thai folks? Wanna help out a clueless farang?
It is highly disturbing that you think about finding a sex partner like shopping for a fucking cell phone (Five star comments? What? Hold on, lemme check epinions before I get this boner). Ditto on "pussy" as synecdoche for "woman." You do know the people you have sex with are other people, right? I would say I get a 9 out 10 on the "she puts the lotion in the basket" scale from your general vibe.
In any case, to answer what your actual question seems to be: many people in many different kinds of relationships have fulfilling sex lives without penile penetration.
I can't tell if you're asking about a paid sexual encounter or an actual relationship. If it's the former, then why don't you schedule a session with a trans sex worker and see if you like it? Please do your best to be respectful. And if it's the latter, I have trouble imagining you having a fulfilling relationship with someone who you view with vague disgust/as a piece of meat with genitals, but that's just me.