Mayorgeddon 2005 

Who will survive?

A lot of people think Michael Bloomberg is a lock to return to City Hall as mayor. Fine. But that doesn’t mean we can’t try to inform you, the voter, about who else gave enough of a damn to get themselves on the ballot. Even though none of them stand a snowball’s chance in Hell of winning (with the possible exception of Mr. Ferrer) we love them anyway, just for trying

Audrey Silk

Moment of Fame
This pro-smoking rights activist hates the smoking ban and was approached by the Libertarian party to run for mayor. Also has a great name.
Moment of Shame
She refuses to go to Libertarian party meetings because they make her go outside to smoke. You simply cannot make that up.
Most Embarrassing Quote
“I’ve never managed a budget so large but I can’t imagine that the same simple economics that I use for my household and personal budget don’t apply.”
Most Impressive Thing Actually Accomplished
She founded Citizens Lobbying Against Smoker Harassment, promoting research about cigarettes taxes and negative results of the ban.
Friends
Libertarians, French existentialists.
Enemies
American Non-Smokers Rights Association (well, duh).

Thomas Ognibene

Moment of Fame
This ex-New York City Councilman, attorney and veteran argued that Mike B. bought the Republican Primary and spent millions to keep him off the ballot. Campaigns for welfare cuts at any price.
Moment of Shame
As a councilman, he held hearings against the “Rainbow Curriculum.” As a result, books like Heather Has Two Mommies and Daddy’s Roommate were banned from the reading list in kindergarten classrooms. Jerk.
Most Reactionary Quote
“The same criminal offenders that place graffiti on our buildings, trespass onto our properties and use drugs in public, are the same individuals that commit serious violent offenses.”
Most Impressive Thing Actually Accomplished
He defeated a tax increase for small local stores that helped to prevent big-box stores like Wal-Mart coming to NYC. Not a jerk?
Friends
Conservative Party and the retired.
Enemies
Bloomberg, Wal-Mart, Freedom-Haters.

Anthony Gronowicz

Moment of Fame
This lefty history professor at Columbia also writes reviews for The Nation. Seeks free tuition and open admissions at CUNY.
Moment of Shame
He called his dog “an unconditional supporter” and has picture of him on his website. Awww.
Most Professorial Quote
“Rent control came into existence, not because of the Republican party, not because of the Democratic party, but because of the Communist party. This is one of the historic ironies we are dealing with.”
Most Impressive Thing Accomplished
Fought for workers’ rights at CUNY; published a book on pre Civil War-era race and class politics in NYC.
Friends
Green Party, dog lovers.
Enemies
Too nice for enemies.

Christopher X. Brodeur
Moment of Fame
Constantly attacking the media for its cowardly political coverage; banned from all the debates, running as a write-in candidate. Plays in a rock ‘n’ roll band. Promises free subways, accountability for all tax money, and rooftop patios for all.
Moment of Shame
Numerous arrests for harassing the mayor’s press office; thrown out of 9/11 Commission; breaking stuff in bars. Brodeur himself is incapable of feeling shame.
Most Embarrassing Quote
All of them, none of them. Absolutely nothing embarrasses CXB.
Most Impressive Thing Actually Accomplished: Got 16,561 votes in the Democratic primary after spending less than $200 on his entire campaign; lived in Manhattan for 14 years and never earned over $11,000 a year.
Friends
Politicker, Gawker and himself.
Enemies
Lots and lots and lots of people. These days, Harry and Norman Siegal.

Jimmy McMillan

Moment of Fame
Actor, rent activist, karate expert, and “Independent Private Investigator”; ran for mayor in 1993, and claimed to be scared out when he was found at the side of the road, tied to a tree, blindfolded, and doused with gasoline.
Moment of Shame
See above.
Most Ridiculous Quote
“The Rent Is Too Damn High party supports Donald Trump’s plan in rebuilding Lower Manhattan. We agree with his message and the reason the Twin Towers should be built the way they were.”
Most Impressive Thing Accomplished
He has open court cases for discrimination and equal access to political candidates against NYC Campaign Finance Board, the Board of Elections, and several sponsors of the debates. He sings “rent too damn high” jingle on his website.
Friends
Rent Is Too Damn High party members.
Enemies
The guys who tied him to a tree.

Michael Bloomberg

Moment of fame
Bloomberg is the largest individual donor to the Republican Party in the nation, and wrote a $7 million personal check to help underwrite the party’s convention in New York. He’s mayor too.
Moments of Shame
See above. And: as mayor he refused to openly testify before the 9/11 Commission, arrested 1,700 people during the RNC, and broke 2001 campaign promise by increasing property tax 18.5 percent.
Most Embarrassing Quote
The only time Mike Bloomberg even mentioned “poverty” in his first four years was in his State of the City speech this January.
Most Impressive Thing Accomplished
During his administration, the murder rate fell to its lowest level since 1963; he also saved us from the Olympics.
Friends
Rich Republicans and rich Democrats
Enemies
Smokers, protesters, the un-rich.

Fernando Ferrer

Moment of Fame
Self-made ex-New York City Council member and former Bronx Borough President.
Moment of Shame
Lied on his website about going to public schools, when in fact he attended mostly private Catholic schools.
Most Embarrassing Quote:
About the fatal 1999 police shooting of Amadou Diallo, an unarmed African immigrant shot 41 times: “In my opinion, the killing had not been a crime (…) there was an attempt by many [during that period] ... to over-indict.”
Most Impressive Thing Accomplished
He opposed Giuliani’s attempt to extend his term after 9/11. As a borough president, he created 66,000 housing units and 34,000 new jobs in the Bronx.
Friends
Various Democrat Party poobahs.
Enemies
The Democrat Party poobahs who support Bloomberg.

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