Back in college, I had a boyfriend who traveled one summer on a Fulbright. Before he left I had my girlfriend snap a few Polaroids of me wearing little to nothing. I slipped the images into his journal. It was exhilarating for me and I know it was exhilarating for him.
That was then and this is now. My current boyfriend (different one) wants to make a sex tape. I am reluctant. With all of the ex-girlfriend photos on the web and the release of so many sex tapes, I think of my career and the damage/humiliation something like this would create if in the wrong hands. (I’m not famous so it would not be on Page Six). Audrey, am I too paranoid? Or should I drop my inhibitions, along with my clothes, and do it?
Tell you what, people are going to say I’m a prude, but in my experience anything you record has the possibility of ending up on the internet. I mean, it’s unlikely, but you could be the lady whose boyfriend leaves his iPhone at Burger King. Or who accidentally forgets to delete compromising video from your hard drive before getting it repaired. Or who somehow bizarrely replies all to their entire law firm. Or whatever.
So I’m not saying don’t do it, but I am saying your reservations are not unfounded. If you decide to go for it, just be really sure you remember where you keep the file and don’t let anyone make copies. I mean, even if you trust your partner, which I hope you do, people seem to accidentally distribute that stuff a lot. So keep an eye on it, and maybe delete it after you’re done enjoying watching it.
And just because I’m a paranoid individual, I’d make sure my boyfriend got at least as much potentially embarrassing airtime as I did.
Your last article freaked me out. I am a heterosexual male and my girlfriend and I occasionally use a strap-on; by occasionally, I mean like six or seven times a year. What can I do to avoid the horrid consequences you discussed last time? I like what we do but I don’t want to become incontinent or have ass surgery down the line. Tips?
Ok, no, I was worried this is what would happen if I printed that letter. Don’t freak out! Nobody stop having anal sex, ok? You can have butt sex every single day of the year and not hurt yourself. Fuck it, you could probably do two-a-days.
The key is to just listen to your body. Use lots of lube, go slowly, and stop if something hurts a lot. If you’re doing something that will make you incontinent, it is going hurt like the dickens, I assure you. I think it’s very difficult to fuck up your poop chute that badly, unless you’re on, like, massive amounts of painkillers or something. Important safety tip: don’t have anal sex if you are taking massive amounts of painkillers. Or if you are completely fucked up on anything, really — you won’t be able to hear your pain signals as clearly.
But other than that, seriously, anal is cool for the ladies and the gents. Just work clean (don’t put anything that’s been in a butt in a vag or a mouth or anything) and work safe (condoms/gloves/clean toys).