My 5 Favorite Sex Scandals of 2011
Audrey Ference
Anthony Weiner on Twitter
I am still amazed that someone who had to have spent his childhood hearing “Hey Anthony, show us your Weiner!” would be sending dick pics around. Maybe he is like a shitty comic book villain, fatalistically compelled to act against his own interests in the most poetic justice-y possible way by a lifetime of taunting? In any case, I still don’t think he should’ve quit.
Herman Cain in General
Sheesh, this guy. What a creep. Thankfully he will now have more time to devote to pizza-themed Lennon covers. I feel like “Glass Onion” might be a fertile field to plow, if you are taking requests. And I don’t mean that in a “You’re the same height as my wife” way.
Arrivederci, Bunga Bunga
Was any married politician publicly fucking so many young ladies for so long with absolutely no consequences whatsoever? It’s truly incredible. I mean, I know Europeans aren’t exactly going to clutch their pearls when they find out the Prime Minister has a gal on the side, but still, this is some next-level shit. I tip my hat to you, sir.
Arnold Schwartzenegger's Love Child
He’s a cute kid! But I really liked Arnold and Maria Shriver together, you know? Oh well. I could’ve done without all of the “Her?!?!?!?” reactions to Mildred Baena, as though the really scandalous thing for some people was that he was having sex with a woman they themselves didn’t find attractive. Also, just a note to everybody, when you refer to a woman as “the maid” or “the nanny” or “the help” in lieu of using her name, you sound like an enormous asshole.
Phillip Hinkle on M4M
Oh, Phil. Tut tut. It’s not so much that I find your particular case that interesting—just your classic married man Craigslist lay—but man if I’m not tired of seeing these self-loathing hatemongers vote to strip people (who are brave enough to be out) of their civil rights and then have the audacity to think they deserve a little cock on the side. There should be some kind of national registry for “homophobes” so that male sex workers can refuse service to these fuckheads.
