Of Blood and Spunk 

spunk2-2.jpg

Dear Audrey, I've got a vacation coming up at the same time that I'm going to be on my period (I'm on the pill.) I know you can just skip the period week pills and start a new pack of the hormone pills, but is there any danger/downside to that? Can you just keep doing it indefinitely?

The only downside that I know of is that some ladies spot if they do that, especially if they're on the low-dose pills. And it's harder to know if you're accidentally pregnant. I don't know of anyone who has done it indefinitely, but I don't see why not? They have all those implantable hormone birth control things or the shots or whatever where you don't get your period or only get it a few times a year.

It's not like your body makes x milliliters of blood per month and if you don't drain it out it will start to back up or anything. If you don't induce a period, all that tissue will just hang around, waiting for show time. As soon as you stop taking the pills with the hormones your period will come back again just like normal. On a side note, am I the only who pictures one of those bulk machines at the hippie grocery whenever I'm having my period? Like the kind where you turn the wheel and the granola or Swedish fish or whatever come pouring out of that chute into your bag, and you kind of just want to keep turning the wheel until the bin is empty? Just me? Okay.

Well anyway, there was some article in the NYer a while back about how when they were first coming out with birth control pills they added in a monthly period to make it more "natural" and so people wouldn't freak out, but actually in a "natural" state ladies wouldn't be having that many periods anyway because we'd be pregs/nursing all the time.

So yup, you should be fine. Just make sure before you start that your gyno/insurance isn't going to be a dick about letting you get more than 12 packs of pills per year. Insurance dicks!

Dear Audrey, Do guys who have vasectomies still cum liquid? If so, is it clear or what?

Ha ha, they just keep fucking and fucking, grinding joylessly into each other, until finally a dry little puff of dust wheezes from his dickhole, like an old librarian blowing on an old book. A look of disappointment creeps across her face before she quickly looks away. His dick withers, defeated. Then she crawls gingerly into his arms, still hiding her sadness, and they both pine for the babies they will never have together. No! It looks just like normal jizz. Sperm are so super tiny that their removal does not affect the color/amount/consistency of spooge in any way. Although clear jizz would actually be kind of amazing. Think of the potential for pranks!

But no, you would not be able to tell by looking whether a man has had a vasectomy or not. Although in the course of double-checking on this, I found a lady on the internet who claims her husband's jizz tastes better since his vasectomy. No idea about the science on that one, but FYI. It seems like while they're in there maybe they could install little flavor packs or something, but you'll have to ask your doctor to make sure.

For questions and comments, the natural redhead can be reached at sex@thelmagazine.com

Comments

Showing 1-1 of 1

Add a comment

 
Subscribe to this thread:
Showing 1-1 of 1

Add a comment

© 2014 The L Magazine
Website powered by Foundation