Recently I’ve become upset with the hairlessness in porn. I could hang with the landing strip or whatever, and then the completely waxed, but now they’re waxing all the way back? What’s up with that? I can’t keep up.
You know, I don’t know. Theories abound. There’s a whole infantalization of women/move away from natural bodies as desirable objects school of thought about it. But then there’s also how it allows for way more penetrative visibility. Which, frankly, I find a little too clinical — I kind of like the idea of whatever it is that’s getting shoved into a lady’s vajoojoo sort of disappearing into a sexy cloud of obscurity, rather than to be able to discern the flap of every lip, but that’s just me.
Anyway, porn seems like kind of a world unto itself, with its own little micro-trends. Like for makeup. Remember how, for a while, porn ladies all wore that darker lip liner with light gloss asshole-mouth look? And now they all wear overly sticky wet lip shine that gunks up when they do oral? I’m not sure I’ve ever seen that look in real life, though admittedly I don’t live in California.
My point is that I don’t think you should feel compelled to keep up with porn in terms of your waxing. Waxing and cosmetic surgery-wise, as well as stamina and elasticity-wise, it is perhaps best to think of porn stars as Olympic athletes and us average folks as a guy on a treadmill at the gym, training for his work’s 5K Completely Voluntary Saturday Fun Run or Walk. You might be able to be as good as them, but it would take years of training, and also probably you’re too old.
I’ve waxed or shaved my bush for years, and decided to grow it out for a change of pace. The problem is that it’s really, REALLY itchy while it’s stubble. I know it’s only a couple of weeks, but is there anything I can do? I don’t want to spend all day trying not to scratch my junk in public.
You guys, I swear, I got these two questions in the same week. Pubes are in the air! Take note! For you, itchy lady, I recommend that while you’re washing your head hair, put some conditioner down there to soften the stubble up. Then once you get out of the shower, lotion everything. That will soften the hair and soothe your skin. Good luck with your project. Like the nerds say, may the hair on your pussy never grow less.
Reader Talkback Corner!
Regarding a question a few weeks ago about internet porn and the damage it may or may not be doing to our nation’s youth, a reader writes:
I dunno, Audrey. I looked at as much porn as I could get my hairy little palms on when I was 13, but there wasn’t no “2 girls 1 cup” in my dad’s Penthouse, no ladies shoving raw chicken in their cooches, no guys getting double-fisted... I am sort of glad that there was a time for me to develop more or less reasonable thoughts about sex before I got a chance to see all the really freaky shit. I’m not worried about more kids growing up kinky, exactly — but dontcha think kids could wind up jaded or with some with some very weird associations?
You know, fair enough, though good luck trying to keep them away from it. But thinking about it, I realized that the really gross-out stuff — goatse, 2 girls 1 cup, tubgirl, kids in a sandbox — aren’t even really about sex. They’re clearly sex acts, but watching them is much more akin to watching other, not-at-all-overtly-sexual gross-out videos. At least for me. I don’t know what that means. But I thought it was interesting.