On The Town With Raven Snook 

Pussies, Nipples and Profanity

If you’ve ever asked why there isn’t a rating system for theater, you probably voted for Bush. I certainly never pondered the question… until this week. With a confessional cabaret by infamous Andy Warhol tranny star Holly Woodlawn, an adults-only performance of Tony-Award-winning musical The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee, and a troupe of flying pussies, I’ve got to wonder where the hell the Moral Majority is. Maybe they’ll turn up if Holly flashes her nipple. (I’m sure she’d be happy to oblige.)

Admittedly, the pussies in question are the family-friendly kind. The Moscow Cat Theatre (Tribeca Performing Arts Center, 199 Chambers St., through 10/30) is making its U.S. debut, and why not? We’ve already had pretentious pussies clutter up our stages (see The Vagina Monologues… on second thought, don’t). At least these can do tricks, including tightrope walking, paw standing and various aerial feats. And with a cast of 20 felines, two dogs and eight clowns, the stage is liable to be more chaotic fun than Ozzy Osbourne’s home.

Although it’s built around the most innocuous of kids’ events, The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee (Circle in the Square Theatre, 1633 Broadway) has always been a bit lascivious — one of its songs is ‘My Unfortunate Erection.’ But on Sunday evening, October 2, the show veers into Henry Miller territory with all X-rated words. Jay Reiss, who plays sad sack Vice Principal Douglas Panch, also writes the definitions and he promises they will be extra explicit. Maybe I’ll finally find out what a Mongolian clusterfuck is. 

Ever since she was immortalized in Lou Reed’s ‘Walk on the Wild Side,’ Holly Woodlawn has been turning heads with her gender-bending antics. I caught her act last fall at Fez and she was shoeless, braless and shameless (I mean that as a compliment). She will perform her all-new show, Holly’s Follies (The Cutting Room, 19 W. 24th St), for one-night only, October 4. I can’t tell you what she’s planning because Holly never knows herself until she’s doing it, but there’ll be singing and sniping for sure. The rest depends on how many cocktails she downs.

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