Online Dating Pro Tips, From PROS
by Audrey Ference
I've recently opened up an online dating account (because it's the 21st century, why not?) and am wondering what, if any etiquette there is for it. I'm a little uncomfortable with the idea, and don't feel comfortable asking my friends for advice. I know obviously to spell nice, check my grammar and not send dick picks to everyone, but are there any other rules one should look out for? Is commenting on an activity in someone's profile in your intro message cute, and shows you actually read it, or creepy? I want to stand out more then the average hello, but I don't want to offend people away.
Yay, finally, someone is taking my advice to try online dating! I asked some of my friends who are (or were) online daters for pointers for you. Here is what they had to say:
A DUDE: “Some photos are required: good clear body shot. Laughing with your friends. Active/activity. I think the main thing is that you’re trying to present a reasonable idea of who you are, remember that the other person is trying to get enough information to decide if its worth meeting up for essentially what is one (pre-screened) blind date. There’s no reason to lie and no reason to be polite if you're not interested.”
A LADY: “[My now-fiancé] sent me a message before I even finished filling out the whole profile. I had a picture of my face and a short blurb about me. His message was cute, it was something like, ‘You seem to have a great outlook on the world, and that means a lot.’ Or something to that effect. It was nice to get an honest message that referenced a world view rather than, ‘can you post a picture from the neck down’ or ‘wow, you’re so tall... do you mind dating shorter guys?’
He had some cute things mentioned in his profile about activities and cooking and stuff like that. And one cheesy thing, but it was cute, a line that went something like, ‘I don't mind getting caught in the rain with someone and cuddling under an umbrella.’ Not quite ‘I like taking long romantic walks on the beach’, but pretty close. It was nice to see something soft and not macho. But that’s just me.”
ANOTHER DUDE: “I’m no longer in the online dating world but I gained quite a bit of knowledge of the field during my time with it. Also, the good folks over at okcupid have put a ton of effort into analyzing the mountains of data they’ve collected these past few years. Your questioner would be wise to check out their blog. This post may be particularly useful:
What to Say in a First Message
This one is a personal favorite:
The Best Questions for First Dates
In general, I think you have to put in a fair amount of time to find what you’re looking for. Use the tools the site provides for you and, if you’re looking for something serious, don’t just jump at the first bites you receive. If you’re looking for something casual, then cast a wide net and see what comes your way. It’s a man’s world on the internet but you do need to be literate and form letters are a huge turn off. Read her profile and respond to her words, not just her pictures.”
So there you go! I hope that’s helpful. And thanks to my friends for their wonderful advice.
