Our Critics Write Their Wrongs...
A Look Back at L Magazine F*ck Ups
The Artist: John Vanderslice
The Record: Pixel Revolt
The Writer: Mike Dougherty
The Quote: “Of course, a mediocre showing from John Vanderslice is still better than what most of his contemporaries could pull off…”
The Correction: Eh, mediocrity is mediocrity. The fact that it’s coming from V-Slice almost makes it more depressing. How could he forget he owned a drum set? How could he write that terrible song about losing a rabbit? Who writes a “users guide” to his own album? If I still listened to this record, these are the questions that would keep me up at night.
The Artist: Fischerspooner
The Song: ‘Just Let Go’
The Writer: Mike Conklin
The Quote: “Everyone’s favorite electro-clash pioneers are back, and all we can do is hope they don’t cause a resurgence of second-rate imitators like they did last time… ‘Just Let Go’, is good enough to warrant it, so be afraid.”
The Correction: Ok, this song didn’t cause any sort of electro-clash resurgence because it’s actually not very good. It’s mostly just boring.
The Artist: The Decemberists
The Record: Picaresque
The Writer: Mike Conklin
The Quote: “What makes the Decemberists so familiar, comfortable and exciting are the melodies that so ruthlessly fight their way into your head.”
The Correction: For a record allegedly full of such unforgettable melodies, I can’t for the life of me remember a single one of them. Turns out the most memorable thing Colin Meloy did this year was that unfathomably bad cover of “You Can Go Your Own Way” with Death Cab at Central Park.
The Artist: C Rayz Walz
The Record: Year of the Beast
The Writer: Jocelyn Hoppa
The Quote: “Even while C Rayz is from the streets of NYC and has a checkered, thug-life past of thug… he’s able to take all the mental garbage of life and turn our collective frustration into lyrical trickery and dope beats.”
The Correction: For the record, in case it wasn’t entirely obviously, I’m white. So while pleading ignorance with red cheeks, I’d also like to say that my editor was clearly dealing with an extreme hangover, because this shit doesn’t make any sense.
The Artist: Wolf Parade
The Record: Apologies to the Queen Mary
The Writer: Jocelyn Hoppa
The Quote: “At any rate, check them out now, because in six months the hype and overplay could prevent you from giving a damn. And, really, that would be a shame.”
The Correction: It took me exactly two months to forget about this album completely. Is it a shame if you missed out? Not so much. The real question is what happened to the metal band Wolfmother, who made an appearance earlier this year? Seriously, I want to know.
The Artist: Wolf Parade
The Record: Apologies to the Queen Mary
The Writer: Jocelyn Hoppa
The Quote: “The real question is what happened to the metal band Wolfmother that made an appearance earlier this year? Seriously, I want to know.”
Mike Conklin’s Correction: Um, Jocelyn? That is seriously not the real question. The real question is “Yo, why you gotta hate on Wolf Parade so much?” Or maybe just, “Yo, who the fuck is Wolfmother?”
