As an editorial staff, we here at The L do a lot of work in the bar — specifically, the fantastic 68 Jay Bar, a block away from the office (hi Karen!). And though it feels a little disloyal to that fine establishment, we have found ourselves wondering what our perfect bar would look like, if we could have anything we wanted… Well, here it is. Shockingly, it’s not all that fancy.
Bar Rules • Every 25th beer (barwide) is free, plus generous buybacks
• No cellphone conversations on the premises, and especially no barroom trivia disputes solved by PDAs
• No flip-flops on men
• Happy hours from 5pm to 8pm and 12am to 2am
• Smoking permitted indoors after 2:30am
1. Our heated outdoor garden is a smokers delight, and features extra greenery to provide more oxygen to non-smokers. And don’t worry about having to push open the door with your hands full of beer — there’s a pass-through that goes straight to the indoor bar. Strategically placed speakers play the same music that’s going on inside, but not so loud as to drown out the relaxing plashes of the fountain.
2. Every good bar deserves food. Not only do we have the finest in an endless free supply of locally made, traditional bar snacks (organic pretzels, chips, mixed nuts, peanuts à la shell), Castillian ex-pat Javier provides a steady stream of classic Spanish tapas (free, of course) like tortilla, patatas bravas, serrano ham, olives, manchego… que sabroso.
Bar Cat: Mr. Snickerdoodle
3. A good game of pool needs elbow room, so we’ve made sure there’s plenty of it on the loft space, which doubles as a stage for bands we like. And if you suck at pool, get drunk on one of our ten
local beers and hurl sharp objects at a circle on the wall… darts! We’re not so snobby as to disregard the importance of a good TV in a bar, but damned if we’re going to leave the thing playing silently in the corner like an unloved step-child. Hidden behind a painting, Mr. TV comes out for big games or award shows or elections. Management reserves the right to turn the thing off at any moment.
4. While we understand the appeal of those billion-song mp3 jukeboxes, we feel it’s the responsibility of the bar to manage its own soundtrack. To that end, we have a classic double-wide juke with hundreds of songs we love, and even a few songs that pander to the drunken 4am desire to dance to Terence Trent D’Arby.
5. Fireplaces calm us down. They bring us together. They warm our socks. They’re also a really good focal point for gathering round to play a board game. Choose from one of our dozens of classics. (Each one comes with a special set of “drinking game” rules, if you need to give the evening a little kick.)
6. While it’s good to stretch your legs every now and then going to the bar, sometimes you just want to stay nestled in your plush, womb-like booth. But what about beer? Well, each booth has its own tap, featuring a delicious local beer that rotates every week and is purchased by volume. Now you can tip yourself! Bonus feature: some booth backs have a built-in massage function.