Hey, it's Pop Scene! Our monthly feature in which Mike Conklin and Mike Dougherty climb out from under their indie-rockist, um, rock, to find out what regular people all over the country are listening to. This installment features selections from the iTunes music store.
Title: I Gotta Feeling
Artist: Black Eyed Peas
Conklin: First of all, it would be nice if just once I could take part in a Pop Scene that does not include a song by Fergie or the Black Eyed Peas. Second, the only people who could possibly enjoy this song are the ones who rent houses in, like, Southhampton or whatever — not the rich ones, but the sorta trashy, barely post-college kids who go to all those gross bars where the women with fake boobs hang out. I'm now unable to erase this image of douchebags and their girlfriends drinking Coors Light while shaving or popping their collars, getting ready for a long night of date-rape and vomiting. Omigod, so catchy, though, right??? Also, I think they mean "I've Gotta Feeling," or maybe just "I've Got a Feeling," since the colloquial "gotta" doesn't really serve any purpose here.
Dougherty: At first I thought will.I.Am meant jumping off the sofa to be a party activity, since jumping off of furniture is way fun, as I'm sure all four members of the Black Eyed Peas are aware. But then I realized he's actually imploring you to get off the sofa to go out, meaning there's zero partying actually going down in this song, just lots of talking about it. And talking endlessly about how awesome your night is going to be means, of course, that your night will never live up to your expectations, you will spend all of your money getting way too drunk, and it will take you at least an hour and a half to get home on the subway, tired, sad and poor. Unless you live in another city and own a car, or are will.I.Am and own a hologram machine.
Title: Best I Ever Had
Conklin: I don't know who this person is, but I believe I heard something on the BET Awards about him being on Degrassi or, like, Hannah Montana or something? I'm sure Dougherty will clear it up for us below, 'cause he's all into that shit. But anyway, what we have here is pretty much the standard "I really like you, woman, and because I'm so nice, I even like you in your sweatpants" song. It's stupid, basically. But I'm really into this one part where Drake repeatedly mutters, in this super creepy voice, "You the fucking best, you the fucking best, you the fucking best." Then there's a line about how he's going to make a woman's vagina whistle the Andy Griffith theme song, and while I'm less into that part, I think it would be really cool if that could really happen. Or if that had happened on Degrassi, I should say.