SUSPECTS INCLUDE Your boyfriend/girlfriend/spouse, children, particularly close family members.
GIFT PARAMETERS Aim for a combination of surprise and personalization. As you should know suspects intimately, the pressure for the perfect gift is high.
UTTERLY PROHIBITED Expensive gifts that you will end up using/enjoying more than the suspect (e.g. the bowling ball with her name on it).Death by castration or evisceration.
PENALTY IF SUSPECTS GO UN-GIFTED Death by castration or evisceration.
Fruit of the Month Club From Royal Riviera Pears to sunrise papayas, your dearest will enjoy 12 months of fresh fruit delivered to their door. Indulgent, yes, fruity, umm, yes.
Plots at Green-wood Cemetery
Because nothing says “I love you” quite like “I bought us adjacent plots at Green-wood Cemetery, so we can spend all eternity lying beside each other in Brooklyn’s massive, gothic, parrot-populated burial ground.” No, seriously. Nothing. That’s love, right there. $1,470, Green-wood.com.
Walking into the Prague Kolektiv store feels a bit like stumbling into a museum of the sublime. This little number is one of many mid-century modern Czech delights. A blue and yellow squared laminate top floats above three geometrically perfect oak legs. Beware though, perfection don’t come cheap. $1,100. 143 Front St, 718 260 8013
Personalized Dog Cushions
Designed by Elodie Blanchard, these cushions come in the shapes of the 20 most popular breeds in America — and you can get the dog’s name embroidered. $145. Spring, 126A Front St, DUMBO
Art. Actual Art.
Not a poster of Starry Night, but real art by a New York artist. You’re a grown up now, time to have originals on the walls. Mixed Greens takes the guesswork out by offering gift certificates starting at $250. 531 W 26th St.
For many men, the least enjoyable part of the day is when they have to confront the cold steel of the twin blades scraping across their sorry mugs. Inject a bit of glamour into the man of your life’s morning ritual with this razor that calls to mind a post-modern office tower. $225. Homage.com, Saks Fifth Avenue, Bergdorf Goodmans.